Stream of Consciousness: Green

It is St. Patrick’s Day and I am green.

I’m not wearing green because I’m home in pajamas and there is no one here to pinch me.

I AM green. With jealousy.

Which, if you know me at all, you’ll know I think is a completely wasted emotion. But there it is.

I’m green with jealousy and envy.

I’m envious of those that don’t live their lives in pain. Of those who live their lives without restrictions and restraints placed on them by their bodies.

I’m jealous of those who don’t have to count every dime. Of those who can pick up a milkshake on the way home and not have to worry about whether that means they won’t be able to wash laundry the next day.

I’m envious of those who don’t worry every second of the day. Of those who can fall asleep easily without doubt, stress, and worry keeping their eyes pried open as their overworked minds continue working.

I’m envious of those who have a gaggle of female friends. Girls they can call on at any time to go get a cup of coffee or see a movie. True friends who live within driving distance.

I’m jealous of those whose arms will soon be filled with a new baby. Whose laps fill with the cuddles of pets and children. Those who always have someone to love on, even when their spouse is at work.

I said I was green, I didn’t say I was proud of it.


3 thoughts on “Stream of Consciousness: Green

  1. Real girl friends close at hand are sometimes more trouble/drama than they are worth. We can’t even plan a day out together that doesn’t include 3 changes of venue and time before we ever leave the driveway. *shakes head*

  2. I know this place. I hang out here a lot lately. The specifics differ, but the feeling is the same. I’m sorry, it’s not a fun way to feel.

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