One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life has been how to let go.
I have a hard time letting go of hurts, and letting go of people who aren’t healthy for me. I’m not really sure why, and to be honest, it is a big piece of what I’m working on in therapy. I had thought to leave this post for that wonderous day when I finally had it all worked out, but events this week have made me see that maybe, just maybe, this is a lifelong lesson.
And if that’s the case, why am I waiting to share something I know to be true?
We’ve talked many times here about how stress is unhealthy for us. To that same degree, holding on to negative feelings is just as detrimental, possibly more. Each day, hour, minute spent thinking about the jerk who hurt our feelings, or that rude thing our neighbor said, or how our ex broke our heart- it all adds up. It robs us of happiness, and leaves us emotionally and mentally drained.
I wish I had some grand advice on how to let go of these thoughts and emotions, but it’s something I’m still working on. What I have learned is that we must work at letting go, so that we may be happier. What I’ve found helps- surrounding myself with love. Friends I can turn to who help me lift the veil of darkness from my day. A partner who will do the little things so I can take care of me. A doggy who rolls around on the floor begging for belly rubs and rewards me with kisses and snuggles. I’ve set up a support system of happiness that I can turn to when I feel myself dwelling on the negative.
Letting go of people is often so much harder.
On one hand, I’ve been known to be the “love them til they hurt me” type. I’ve often said, “I’m your best friend until you give me a reason not to be, then you’re dead to me.” (Nice unintentional rhyming there…) And this is mostly true. If I let you into my circle, I’ll often bend over backwards for you. Until you give me a reason not to. Betraying my trust or hurting someone I love are game changers and I will cut you out of my life quicker than you can blink.
But there are people who’ve hurt me over and over again that I just can’t seem to let go. I allow them to reside in my heart and my mind, knowing they’ll continue to hurt me. Knowing they’re unhealthy and toxic personalities, and how those affect me. Knowing nothing will change until I make the changes. And yet, I hesitate.
I know it impacts my health, so this is a key part of my therapy. There are simply some people we can’t cut out of our lives, for whatever reason, and so I’m learning how to set boundaries.
Boundaries and a support system of happiness. Letting go.
Finding ways to move forward so that we may see the light in each and every day, and ultimately, live better.
**How do YOU live better? I’m looking for guest posts in this series and would love to share your story. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with your ideas.