Tag Archives: Remicade

There’s Always One More Thing

It would appear I’ve picked up yet another cold.

Like I needed another thing on my plate.

This past month has seemed like one thing after another. I’ve done my best to stay positive and just keep rolling with it, but at some point, we all break. I’ve kept much of what’s going on quiet for two main reasons. One- we still have more questions than answers. Two- I really didn’t want to be a downer. I wanted this holiday season to be filled with light and joy. And so I just kept plugging away, decorating our home and making plans.

Then this cold came.

I woke up Saturday feeling mostly fine. I had a little stuffiness but figured it was due to the dry air, as it’s been cold and we’ve had the heat turned up. I went with Scotty to visit his dad that afternoon, and then went out that night to watch Scotty play. By the end of the night, I was sneezing away and felt like my head wanted to explode. Last night, I knew it wasn’t just allergies or dry air, I could hear the cough rattling in my chest.

And that’s when I wanted to break down. Because I’m tired of being sick. I’m tired of cancelling plans and having to reschedule and back out of promises. I’m tired of doctor appointments and tests and more medicine. I’m pissed that once again I have to push back my Remicade infusion, leaving my body open to further pain and complications.

Because it isn’t just about the cold.

It’s the TMJ diagnosis and finding out there’s joint erosion in my jaw. That I may need surgery on my mouth. That there are days where talking is painful. It’s the bouts of temporary paralysis while dreaming and/or waking up that terrify me. It’s the overwhelming signs pointing that stress is taking its toll on me, and the overwhelming amounts of stress that keep pouring in. It’s the nerve pain that shoots down my legs.  It’s the sleeping problems, the headaches, the soft food only diet, and oh-look-mother-nature-decided-to-visit-this-week-as-well.

It’s the feeling that it’s always ONE MORE THING with me.

It’s the worry I see on my fiance’s face, even as he’s trying to be so strong for me.

Today I go in for an MRI of my brain and I’m waiting to hear back on when I can get scheduled for the EEG the doctor ordered. I’ve cleared my calendar for the week and am bundled up with hot tea, Mucinex, tissues, my heating pad, and Austin Powers. I’m doing the best I can to practice self-care, while working to let go of the negative and focus on the happy.

I appreciate all of your comments, love, and support. I will do my best to keep writing and sharing my path. But if I miss a day here and there, or don’t get to my email right away, know that I’m taking care of me- one thing at a time.

 

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Where I’ve Been And What I’m Doing

Last week I was MIA.

To start it off, I had my second Remicade infusion. Which didn’t go quite as smoothly as the first. Since I’m predominantly right handed, we decided to try my left hand this time, so I could have a little more freedom of movement during and after the treatment. Well, my left hand didn’t want to cooperate. We had to do four different sticks before we found a vein that would work. And then, in the last five minutes of a three hour infusion, we blew that vein. So my hand looked like a medical glove someone had made into a balloon.

The doctor came in and looked me over, and cleared me to go home, though with strict orders to ice my hand and keep it elevated. No movement for at least 24 hours.

You never realize just how much you use your non-dominant hand until you absolutely can’t use it. It was a nightmare.

I tried to catch up on emails and such on Wednesday, but typing one-handed just wasn’t working for me. Thursday I was able to start light activity, but then our internet crapped out. Clearly, the universe wanted me to take a break.

So even though we had the internet issue resolved on Friday, I hung back from the internet and worked on some stuff around the house. I went to therapy and worked on me. And I rested.

I continued resting all weekend, even while I had a guest post over at The Domain Of The Mad Mommy. I played board games with Scotty and watched football. I ate yummy food.

Today I’m back and feeling the groove. I’ve got some exciting posts coming up, some great swaps for Ask Away Friday, and a few friends will be visiting with some guest posts. So stick around, I promise you won’t be sorry 🙂

Truthful Tuesday: A New Path

I love and hate the Tuesday after a long weekend. On one hand, you’re already one day closer to Friday. On the other, you’re an extra day behind on emails and such. Here’s some other things about this Tuesday:

*I start Remicade infusions, a new (for me) treatment for Rheumatoid Arthritis, today. I’m both excited and terrified. I’m really hoping this is the right path for me, but I’m worried about side effects and that it won’t work. If it doesn’t work, we don’t know what the next step will be…

*My son starts 8th grade this week and I’m incredibly proud of him. However, I’m quite unsure where all the time has gone. How can he be nearly 14 already?!

*My house is alarmingly quiet and empty without my son’s excited energy here to fill it up. We miss him more than words.

*It is now under 11 months (and counting!) until our wedding. We’re trying to get serious about finding a venue and nailing down some other details, but also trying to remain calm and stress-free. It’s hard, yo,

*I’ve decided to link up with not one, but TWO photo challenges on Instagram this month. I’ve been bad about slacking on these in the past, so if you’re inclined to offer reminders, I’ll take them!

*I’ve really been craving Thai food lately. Clearly this means Scotty and I need to take a day trip to Portland to visit my loves and go to the food trucks.

*I’m incredibly grateful for Scotty, his boss, our circle of friends, and my doctors, who’ve all had a part in taking care of me and making my treatment both a priority, and a possibility.

Truthful Tuesday: I Love The Rain

There is a brief little storm moving through our area and I could not be happier. The high temperatures have dipped back into the seventies and there is an intoxicating smell of freshness pouring in through my windows.

I’m reminded of one of my favorite songs from the nineties, Blind Melon’s No Rain.

And so while you do the bee girl dance, here are some other tidbits for this drizzly day.

*I’ve been working behind the scenes to make my blog a bit more professional. I’m now copyrighted (woot!) and have a legal/disclosure page, just in case.

*I’m also working on starting a new Saturday series for the blog where I feature guest posts. Interested? Email me at becominneurotic (at) gmail (dot) com.

*I’ve been approached to contribute to a health website. As I can share more information, I will, but suffice it to say I’m extremely flattered and very excited.

*It was recently discovered that Scotty (my fiance) and I have never been bowling together in our near five years together. This will hopefully be rectified for our birthdays next week. I may have to granny-ball it, but I’m totally looking forward to it!

*Our new upstairs neighbor is turning out to be very nice. He actually came down to apologize for making noise while putting together a shelf and working on his vacuum cleaner. It’s a bit of a novel feeling, having neighbors that aren’t complete asses. Also? My dog didn’t growl at him, which is a pretty good sign.

*I get to see my favorite lady tonight. I’m looking forward to her great hugs, some wonderful chatting and visiting, and to a fresh look. It never fails, a trip to Cathy’s leaves me with my heart full and feeling more human.

*While I’ll have posts up next week, I will technically be out. I’m having a medical procedure on Monday and will be taking the rest of the week to recover and rest up in order to be ready for my son’s arrival that weekend. Hopefully by next Friday we’ll also know whether or not insurance will cover the Remicade infusions my rheumatologist wants to start me on. Fingers crossed!