Tag Archives: people I love

Gratitude Born From Pain


I woke up this morning with the worst headache I’ve had in at least a decade. Fortunately, I have a great fiance, great medical staff, and great spoonie friends who all came together to make sure I could get over the worst of it and still function today.

So here’s some gratitude born out of the pain of this morning.

*I’m grateful for a man who will set aside his own pain to do anything in his power to ease mine.

*I’m grateful for Christina, my nurse, who answers my calls and all of my panicked questions with calm and compassion.

*I’m grateful for my friend Lana, who also has RA, who never gets mad when I text her with random RA questions and whining.

*I’m grateful for a doggy who senses his mama isn’t feeling well, and spends his morning curled up next to me, as quiet and as comforting as can be.

*I’m grateful for plans that are flexible, and friends who understand.

*I’m grateful for a night out with our favorite couple (who are visiting from Canada). For sharing pizza, and hugs, and selfies. For laughs and smiles, and conversations where it feels like they haven’t been gone these last few months.

*I’m grateful for early Christmas that came with fuzzy pajama pants and a slew of presents to go under our tree when it goes up in a few weeks.

*I’m grateful for the medicines that worked this morning so that I could finally open my eyes without wanting to scream. So I could look at a computer screen without wanting to puke.

*I’m grateful for Andrea and the¬†writing group she started on Facebook. It’s kept me motivated while we all participate in #NaBloPoMo. For all the writing prompts and comments. For the shares and support. For the encouragement and belief that together, we can all achieve this goal.

*I’m grateful for a partner who hasn’t given up on me. Who continues to lift me up, no matter all the different setbacks. Who has embraced this new me instead of walking away from such an unpredictable life.


What are YOU grateful for this chilly Monday morning?

I’m Grateful For You

It’s a chilly morning here in the PACNW and I couldn’t be happier. Fall is swirling outside my windows with the howling wind and occasional downpours. I’m bundled up in cozy jammies, slippers, and a fuzzy blanket. My days are now filled with cups of hot tea and apple cider. And gratitude. Always gratitude.



*I’m grateful Scotty has an understanding and emphatic employer. It’s rare these days to find someone who understands that while work is important, family comes first.

*I’m grateful for framily who visits with a gorgeous, air purifying plant to decorate my home and help me breathe better. A fellow spoonie who constantly goes out of her way to make my life better.

*I’m grateful for blogger friends who help me navigate this world as I continue to expand my horizons. Friends who answer texts, even while out celebrating. Friends who answer the call of “HALP! I don’t know what I’m doing!” with a laugh of understanding.

*I’m grateful for a partner who does the little things. The ones he thinks don’t matter, but they all add up to make my days so much smoother and easier. He makes the role of caregiver look easy, though we all know it is not.

*I’m grateful for a kiddo who is honest and upfront with us, even when he’s broken something he knows we can’t afford to replace. He is not in trouble because he came to us and told us what happened instead of trying to hide it, and he is already working on a solution.

*I’m grateful for a doctor who understands my life in pain, and never doubts me. He helps me manage those pain levels without judgement. He never questions me when I tell him I hurt, he just works with me to find me the best comfort available. His staff are all equally caring, and it makes it easy to turn to them for help.

*I’m grateful for framily who send me tools to help me on this journey with chronic illness. And chocolate, because obviously. For cookbooks and letters that make me smile. For notes and lists of treatment options. For a little something that touches the heart and lets me know you thought of me while you were continents away.

*I’m grateful for gift cards and the little I earn from various rewards sites that allows us to keep our heads above water.

*I’m grateful for understanding friends who don’t hold things against me, even when I hold them against myself. Especially then. For friends who know I haven’t forgotten about them, even if it appears I’ve fallen off the map.

*I’m grateful for all of you. All who read my words and offer encouragement and support. All who pass my words on to others. Each of you gives me the purpose to get up each morning and pour my heart out for the world. You give me strength to reach a little further, and share my words among other avenues.

Won’t You Be My Neighbor?

If you’ve been following me on the Tweeter Machine, you know I’ve been scheming for some time to move all of my favorite people to Oregon so I can be surrounded by all the very best.


A girl can dream, right?

No one gets the barrage of “You should move to Oregon NOW!” more than Tracie and her little family of awesome. At least weekly, I’m pointing out ways Oregon is better than Florida (Hush, it IS better!). Besides the fact that the cost of living is lower in my parts, Oregon is full of beautiful forests and trees of all types for her tree-loving husband. Not to mention their daughter and I could bake all kinds of yummy treats for Tracie to nibble on.

Look how pretty, Thomas!
Look how pretty, Thomas!

In all honesty, I am happy as long as Tracie and her family are happy and well, wherever they may be. But I’d be lying if I didn’t admit that I wish daily for Tracie to be next door where we could share coffee and watch Once Upon A Time together.

Yesterday morning Tracie tweeted about late mornings and snuggles with her awesome daughter. I instantly flashed to a pajama-movie party with Tracie and her daughter. I envisioned all the makings of a cold day spent in warm jammies and fuzzy socks surrounded by hot drinks, yummy snacks, and Disney movies.

And I wanted it to happen so very badly.

Maybe it’s because my son is getting to the age where he’s too cool to want to snuggle with Mama. Maybe it’s because I’ve always wanted a little girl to love on. Maybe it’s just as simple as Tracie being a dear sister to me and wanting some bonding time with her and my adopted niece. Whatever the reasons, my Disney movie pajama day with them is now added to my bucket list.


Which begs the question: Is it tacky to start a kickstarter fund to kidnap one of your favorite families and relocate them to be your new next door neighbors?

Month of Positivity- Day 7



November 7, 2013

I’m thankful for Joules.

I met Joules when we both were With The Band. We didn’t work on the same teams, though, so I didn’t really get to know her until I met her in person.

In fact, I met Joules for the first time at a late 30th birthday present to myself last year. The Bloggess was in Portland, and thanks to urging from Joules and Shevaun, I went to meet them and see an icon.

Joules, Shevaun, and I had dinner before the reading/book signing. It was the first time I had met either woman, though they had hung out many times before. Amazingly I didn’t feel like a third wheel. We all chatted like we had known each other for years. We laughed over pasta and smiled excitedly while we waited for Jenny to come to the podium. I knew instantly that these two women would always be special to my life.

Joules is funny and dynamic. She’s crazy smart but never talks down to you. She’s fierce and far stronger than she gives herself credit for being. She loves deep. She’d give you the shirt off her back if she thought it would help you. She can cook up some yummy treats and craft better than Martha. She makes me want to be a better person. She cares about our world and where it’s headed. She’s raising one of the coolest lil men I’ve ever seen.

I’m thankful that Joules has pledged to join me this month in looking for the light in our days. The holidays can be rough for some of us and Depression makes things harder, but Joules isn’t letting anything keep her down. Her comments each day make me smile, her posts make me happy in the pants. Because she is posting. She is finding the light in her days no matter how hard the darkness wants to hang around. She is fighting. And she will win.

I’m hoping to get to see Joules soon so I can give her a great big hug and some baked goodies. Maybe we’ll spend a day crafting and chatting. Maybe we’ll do something crazy. Whatever it is, I know it will be awesome.

Because Joules is awesome.

I’m still resting up and fighting through this flare. I’m hoping to sneak in a long, hot, bubble bath this weekend. And comfort food. I’ve been craving warm, soothing meals to match the stormy weather.

What are you doing to stay cozy this fall? Are you finding the happiness in life’s little moments? Don’t forget to comment so we can share the light!

The Best Memories

Over at Band Back Together we’re celebrating Project Happy and sharing happy memories or things that bring a smile to our face. So I wrote this:

The Best Memories

It’s shocking, still, the things that will spark a memory of her.

Strawberry cake or blueberry muffins. A quick hand of Solitaire. A cactus plant. A jigsaw puzzle. The pleasant scratch of a handmade afghan. Our home team, the Portland Trailblazers. A true cherry cola. Classic Saturday morning cartoons. Merle Haggard.

This last December marked fifteen years since I lost my grandmother.

My grandma and I had a very special bond. She was disabled, bound to her wheelchair because of her battle with diabetes and obesity. Her other grandchildren either lived to far away or were too young to spend weekends at her little house on the hill. I know I was her favorite anyway. Everyone says so.

All through my preteen years, I would head to Grandma’s house each Friday afternoon after school. She usually had some baked treat ready for me. My favorite? Strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting. If it was basketball season, we’d order in takeout and watch the Portland Trailblazers play.

Grandma would let me stay up late reading. We would work on jigsaw puzzles at her little kitchen table while Merle played on her decrepit stereo. We would bake blueberry muffins for our breakfast and set out cat food on the back step for all the stray kitties that lived in the woods behind her house.

Although I know my grandmother was very lonely at times, she taught me to not be scared of time alone. She taught me the joy of solitary activities while she listened to me sing her the songs I was working on in Choir class. Though she was unable to make it to any of my concerts at school, she was one of the biggest supporters of my singing.

Even though she was sick much of our time together, I have nothing but great memories of her. She was the epitome of unconditional love and I miss her greatly. There may be tears in the corners of my eyes, but it’s a smile on my face as I remember her.