Tag Archives: one word

How Do I Heal?

This year I chose to focus on one word: Heal.

Heal

When I chose my word, I was grasping. I was hurting emotionally, mentally, and physically. I wanted relief, but not the fleeting kind. I wanted to get better, to be better. I didn’t know how to go about it, but I knew focusing on healing was the only way I would be able to move forward.

The bane of life with chronic illness is that you will never “get better.” There is no end in sight, there’s no time frame. So how does one heal with chronic illness?

You heal your soul.

I’ve found that if my mental and emotional well being are healthier, it’s easier to cope with the aches and pains of my body. If my heart is light, I’m able to push that little bit harder to take care of myself physically. If I can find the good in things, the bad things don’t seem quite so bad.

The flip of this is that it’s ongoing. One doesn’t just slap a bandaid on their heart and carry on their merry way. You have to devote yourself to the path of working on your emotional and mental health and walk that journey every day. Sure, there are going to be bad days, days where you want to bury under the blankets and hide behind the mask of sleep. But there will also be good days, great days where your heart is flooded with joy and the smile on your face is so wide it makes your cheeks hurt.

I’ve walked this path all year long. There were rough days and great ones. There were tears and smiles. Sometimes it felt as if I had taken one step forward only to land on my ass and slide ten feet backwards. Somehow I always got back up. Maybe not right away and maybe I needed a hand occasionally, but I got up. I might have a few new scars for my battles but I also have the tiniest of wrinkles around my eyes. I call them my laugh lines.

I don’t know yet what my word will be for 2014. I imagine it will come to me at some point in the next few weeks. Whatever it is, I know it will further help me on my path of healing.

Have you chosen a word for 2013? How did your year shape up? Will you choose a word for 2014?

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My Focus On Healing

I’m not entirely sure where the time went, but it’s already the middle of October.

Some of you may remember that with Tracie‘s help, I chose to spend this year focusing on one word: Heal. While this year has provided many roller-coaster rides, I would still say that I am achieving my goal of healing both physically and emotionally.

Probably my biggest strides in healing happened when Cindy-Lou sparked a small idea within me that grew to be the Spoons 4 Spoonies project. I took the hurt I was still feeling and turned it into a way to share love. Though I will always miss Misty, knowing that she is still touching lives through me gives me a peace I didn’t think was possible.

I also owe huge kudos to Dawnie for her help on this path of healing. Her kind way of speaking the things I REALLY need to hear helped me to move forward from people that were still hurting me. Her gentle nudges gave me the push I needed to focus more on myself and my health. With her and Teala’s encouragement, I was able to drop around 30 pounds this year. For anyone battling chronic pain, this is a huge accomplishment. My illnesses limit what I’m able to do in terms of exercise and diet changes. But my lovely ladies helped me focus on what I CAN do and the weight melted off without my noticing. When I was weighed at the doctor a few weeks ago and saw that I was under the dreaded number for the first time since I became ill, I wanted to happy dance.

I’ve also made some strides in managing my illnesses this year. It might not seem like it, since I spent the better parts of August, September, and even October, in and out of the hospital and doctor’s offices. The difference is that I knew there was something not right and I didn’t rest until we found an answer for my symptoms. With a diagnosis, I’m now able to find the treatment that works best for me and move forward.

I’ve also taken a more active role in my health. I’ve learned that I have a say in how I manage my illnesses, and I’m making sure I am researching all options available. I’m trying new things and liking what I see. Yes, I still have achy joints. But I’m learning to focus on healthy ways to live with the aches.

All of these things have added up to better mental health. Yes, August and September were extremely stressful, but all in all, I am happier. Taking more control over my life and my health has helped to ease my stress and anxiety. Lower stress levels are also better for my overall health…who knew?

With November steadily approaching (Seriously! Where did this year go??), I’m looking forward to another Month of Positivity as well as the holidays. There’s a strong possibility that we’ll be spending some holiday time with my family, which I haven’t done since my fiance and I started dating. I’m nervous but also looking forward to making new memories to replace some of the unhappier ones.

I’m still focusing on healing, the year isn’t over quite yet. But I am feeling a little better each and every day…