Tag Archives: happiness

Living Better: Letting Go

LivingBetter

One of the hardest lessons I’ve learned in life has been how to let go.

I have a hard time letting go of hurts, and letting go of people who aren’t healthy for me. I’m not really sure why, and to be honest, it is a big piece of what I’m working on in therapy. I had thought to leave this post for that wonderous day when I finally had it all worked out, but events this week have made me see that maybe, just maybe, this is a lifelong lesson.

And if that’s the case, why am I waiting to share something I know to be true?

We’ve talked many times here about how stress is unhealthy for us. To that same degree, holding on to negative feelings is just as detrimental, possibly more. Each day, hour, minute spent thinking about the jerk who hurt our feelings, or that rude thing our neighbor said, or how our ex broke our heart- it all adds up. It robs us of happiness, and leaves us emotionally and mentally drained.

I wish I had some grand advice on how to let go of these thoughts and emotions, but it’s something I’m still working on. What I have learned is that we must work at letting go, so that we may be happier. What I’ve found helps- surrounding myself with love. Friends I can turn to who help me lift the veil of darkness from my day. A partner who will do the little things so I can take care of me. A doggy who rolls around on the floor begging for belly rubs and rewards me with kisses and snuggles. I’ve set up a support system of happiness that I can turn to when I feel myself dwelling on the negative.

Letting go of people is often so much harder.

On one hand, I’ve been known to be the “love them til they hurt me” type. I’ve often said, “I’m your best friend until you give me a reason not to be, then you’re dead to me.” (Nice unintentional rhyming there…) And this is mostly true. If I let you into my circle, I’ll often bend over backwards for you. Until you give me a reason not to. Betraying my trust or hurting someone I love are game changers and I will cut you out of my life quicker than you can blink.

But there are people who’ve hurt me over and over again that I just can’t seem to let go. I allow them to reside in my heart and my mind, knowing they’ll continue to hurt me. Knowing they’re unhealthy and toxic personalities, and how those affect me. Knowing nothing will change until I make the changes. And yet, I hesitate.

I know it impacts my health, so this is a key part of my therapy. There are simply some people we can’t cut out of our lives, for whatever reason, and so I’m learning how to set boundaries.

Boundaries and a support system of happiness. Letting go.

Finding ways to move forward so that we may see the light in each and every day, and ultimately, live better.

 

**How do YOU live better? I’m looking for guest posts in this series and would love to share your story. Please email me at becominneurotic@gmail.com with your ideas.

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My Happy Place

The lovely Echo tagged me this morning to share my happy place.

Much like Echo, my happy place is more a series of moments, little tidbits that make up an overflowing pool of happiness within me. Some are memories, some are actual places, some are dreams yet to be fulfilled, and some are the moments in my days that chase the dark away. These are the things I would think about if I were to fly with Peter Pan.

It’s a cozy chair, a mug of hot tea, a fuzzy blanket, and a good book.

It’s the joy and excitement my little doggy shows when we ask if he wants to go for a ride.

It’s looking into my newborn son’s eyes and seeing my future gazing back at me.

It’s an afternoon in the park, sprawled on a blanket under the sun. A picnic lunch after a trip to the library.

It’s the memory of a drawled, “Hello, dawlin.” and the feeling of knowing someone cares.

It’s a bubble bath, scented candles, and soft music playing.

It’s text messages from my son, little glimpses at his life away from me. It’s him telling me he loves and misses me.

It’s the kisses goodbye as Scotty leaves for work, and the kisses hello when he gets home in the evenings. It’s the texts throughout his day that let me know he’s thinking of me.

It’s an afternoon on the banks of the Puget Sound, a first date with a man my heart had known always.

It’s boardgames, Mario Kart, and popcorn and M&M’s.

It’s nights at Denny’s, sipping hot cocoa and getting to know each other.

It’s all the little things he does to make my life easier.

It’s afternoon naps with my doggy.

It’s hours long chats with the sisters of my heart. The talks about music, writing, life, and more that always leave me feeling loved and inspired.

It’s waking up each day and going to bed each night knowing I am loved, even when I don’t feel very lovable.

What is your happy place? Where do you go when you need a smile?

I’m Grateful For Happiness

I woke up feeling pretty puny this morning. I didn’t sleep well due to pain and an upset tummy which means I’m more than a little crabby from lack of good rest. Rather than allow myself to sit and wallow, I’m celebrating all the things that made me happy recently. You should join me!

GratefulMondays

 

I’m grateful for:

*Thunderstorms that break up a two week run of high temperatures.

*Being able to be the bearer of much awaited good news.

*My fiance playing live music again. And the wonderfully supportive band mates.

*Friends who drive 40 minutes one way to come and support my fiance.

*The 80’s music channel on my TV that lets me reminisce while I write.

*Blogger friends who pass along tips and help.

*Doctors and nurses who call to check on me, who take the time to fully explain recent lab work, who go out of their way to ease my fears and worries.

*My fiance’s employer who has bestowed so much kindness and understanding on us.

*Friends who help plan my wedding via text message and Pinterest when they can’t be right here with me.

*Phone calls with my kiddo where he tells me how excited he is to come see us.

*My parents, who are currently spoiling my son with once in a lifetime opportunities. I may be slightly jealous that I never got to go to Disney or Six Flags as a kid, but I’m so happy my son gets to make these memories with his grandparents.

*Getting to share about Spoons 4 Spoonies and The Spoon Theory with new people, especially when they’re open and receptive. It warms my heart to know I’m doing my part to raise awareness and push back at the stigmas.

*Dawnie, who first told me what a spoonie was, and helped me to put into words my struggle. She also gives me strength every day to keep putting one foot in front of the other, to keep living the best possible life, in spite of whatever struggles get thrown my way.

 

What are you grateful for today? Link up in the comments and lets make Monday just a little brighter!