It seems every night lately, I watch the news and a little part of me dies inside.
Our world is struggling. People are dying, rioting, and children are crying. The gangs are taking over the streets, families are flailing, and legends have taken their own lives.
My heart has been breaking, and my mind whirling. Where is my place? How can I help?
I firmly believe we must be the change we want to see in the world, and I’ve been trying. But how do we change things like compassion and kindness? How do we take the hurt away and help others smile?
And then I saw this movement. Some bloggers were getting together to spread compassion. #1000Speak. 1000 voices coming together to make the world a little brighter, if only for a day. I was blown away. Here was a whole group of people like me, people who just wanted to spread a little goodness in a weary world.
So I signed up. I committed to blog about compassion on February 20, 2015. Now I’m spreading the word. We still need more people to reach our goal of 1000 voices. And if we hit over 1000, all the better.
I’m humbly asking you to join with me. Let’s be the change we hope to see in this world. Let’s spread compassion. It might just be for a day, but that one day could start a lovely ripple effect. And wouldn’t that be something to see?
After spending New Year’s Eve playing cards and games with my fiance and one of our good friends while our dogs played and hid from the fireworks, I spent a chunk of New Year’s Day in the ER with some odd symptoms. Muscle tremors, shooting pains, and random numbness throughout my left arm/elbow/hand. Turns out I’m fighting a harder RA flare than I knew, and this was just another manifestation of that. They fitted me with a sling to keep the arm elevated and told me to go home, take my pain meds and…REST.
Anyone else hate being told to rest all the time? No? Just me?
Anywho, this morning I was getting caught up on blogging and showing some of my blogger peeps some love, and I found this on Tamara’s site. And I thought, “Yes, I need to do this!” So here you go, loves, my 2014 in review, and some hopes for 2015.
What did you do in 2014 that you’d never done before?
Got our adorable doggy, the first pet Scotty and I’ve had together.
I started Remicade infusions for RA treatment. I’ve never had any sort of infusion before.
Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I did, and I will! For 2015, I want to focus on living better. I want to spread kindness and joy and do my part to make the world a better place.
Did anyone close to you give birth?
A few of my dear friends blessed us with babies this year. Rebecca, Crys, and Fallah all had adorable bundles of joy ❤
Did anyone close to you die?
Not anyone I know personally, but the loss of Robin Williams touched me deeply. I grew up with him, and it breaks my heart to know the world is missing his genius.
What countries did you visit?
Sadly, none. We’re hoping to visit Canada later this year.
What would you like to have in 2015 that you lacked in 2014?
A blender. A yard for our doggy to run and play.
What date from 2014 will remain etched upon your memory?
I don’t have a specific date, just little snippets throughout the year that make me smile. The look of joy on my fiance’s face as he played his music again. My son and fiance exploring the space museum together.
My doggy running through the tall grass at the dog park. Game nights with my fiance. Nights at Denny’s with Kristen and Seth. Civil War on the big screen. Evenings with Cathy.
What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Following my dream of being a writer. It involved more than just sharing my words here with you. I put myself out there more and faced my fear of rejection. I hope to continue this in 2015 and maybe finally finish a book.
What was your biggest failure?
This question really stumped me. I think as long as you continue to learn from your mistakes, nothing is a failure. As for me, I’m still learning.
Did you suffer illness or injury?
Still rocking the battle against my autoimmune disorders. I was also diagnosed with TMJ, and am awaiting an appointment with a oral maxi-facial specialist to determine our treatment plan. I also had a bout with chemical poisoning. Joy.
What was the best thing you bought?
I honestly can’t think of anything right now. Does the cheesy popcorn I’m calling my lunch count?
Whose behavior merited celebration?
My fiance, who continues to be by side and hold my hand as I walk this path.
Where did most of your money go?
What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Time with my son.
Planning our wedding. Making a new friend. A visit from Kristen and Seth.
What song will always remind you of 2014?
Foo Fighters Something From Nothing
Compared to this time last year, are you:
Happier or sadder? Happier Thinner or fatter? Thinner, though I still have a ways to go. Richer or poorer? About the same, I guess. Scotty did get a raise, but those bills keep coming and they’ve just increased our rent, so…
What do you wish you’d done more of?
Living. Chasing dreams. Crafting. Learning new things.
What do you wish you’d done less of?
Hurting. Being stressed and anxious.
Did you fall in love in 2013?
I fall in love with my fiance every day. I fell in love with our doggy when we first met him and knew he needed to come live with us.
How many one-night stands?
None. Or 365 with the same man, however you want to look at it.
Who were your best friends?
All of my friends are best. Kristen and Seth. Nolan and Courtney. All my girls, the sisters of my heart. Kerry. Cathy ❤
What thing did you do that was meaningful to others?
I continued to share my stories. The crew helped me launch the Spoons 4 Spoonies website so we can continue to offer support to those battling chronic illness.
What were your favorite TV programs?
Once Upon A Time. Just about anything true crime related. Sonic Highways.
Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I try not to hate anyone, it’s so bad for your own well-being. But there are a few people I wouldn’t mind never seeing or hearing about again.
What was the best book you read in 2014?
Written In My Own Heart’s Blood by Diana Gabaldon, the latest book in the Outlander series.
What was your greatest musical discovery?
Sonic Highways by the Foo Fighters. I loved getting to watch how each song came together on their HBO series, and then feel in love with their songs. I’ve always been a FF fan, but this made me love them more and in a new way.
What did you want and get?
A lap desk. A mellow and laid back Thanksgiving holiday. A new phone with a better camera (Thank goodness for Verizon’s free phone offer!). Time with my sisters.
What did you want but did NOT get?
Time ALONE with my sisters. A money tree. A new body.
What was your favorite film of this year?
Uh… I can’t remember seeing many movies this year… Sad story.
What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I turned 32 and spent the day with my son and my fiance and some of our dear friends. We went bowling, which was something I didn’t think I could do with my RA hands, but I did it and it was awesome! We also had pizza from my favorite place, and cupcakes, which makes everything awesome.
What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
What kept you sane?
My writing. Therapy. My fiance. Our dog. All of our lovely friends who popped in to keep me trucking along ❤
Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Sam Heughan, the guy who plays Jamie Fraser in the TV version of Outlander.
Colin O’Donoghue aka Captain Hook
What political issue stirred you the most?
I was in an uproar over a few things, others just broke my heart. I’ll say this: I stand for equality for all, and for a safer world for our children.
Who did you miss?
My grandmother. My brother. Misty. My daughter. I always miss my son when he’s not here with us. All of my friends who live near and far, whom I never get to see often enough.
Who was the best new person you met this year?
Kerry! She’s become a dear friend and a lovely support system. Also, with whom else can I sit and reminisce about the 80s?
Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2014.
Sometimes you have to just let things go. Accept that you need to put yourself first, and set boundaries, even if the things you have to let go are people you love. You can’t help others at the detriment of yourself.
Quote that sums up your year:
Thank you all for following along this past year, and for joining me for this little walk down memory lane. Here’s wishing 2015 is full of all the best for all of us! Happy New Year!
It’s hard to believe the holidays are finally upon us. In some ways, November sped by. In others, it dragged on ever so slowly. Either way, it’s here now, the holiday season, and Scotty and I have plans to lay as low as possible.
Here are some of the things I’ll be sending up thanks for this weekend, while I’m relaxing with my fiance and our doggy:
*I’m thankful for friends/framily and all their love.
*I’m thankful for a team of doctors/medical staff who take the very best care of me, and never make me feel like a hypochondriac or addict.
*I’m thankful for a patient and understanding fiance, who holds my hand through all of life’s obstacles.
*I’m thankful for the opportunity to have a four day weekend with my fiance, a chance for us both to relax and recharge before a very busy December.
*I’m thankful for the roof over our heads, the food in our bellies, the clothes on our backs, and all the comforts we enjoy. We know there are many who go without the things we often take for granted.
*I’m thankful my blogging family who’ve supported me as I’ve made my way through NaBloPoMo, and who helped me celebrate my SITS day this week!
*I’m thankful for the technology that allows me to keep in touch with my son when he’s not here to celebrate with us.
*And I’m thankful for all of you. For the comments and likes. For the shows of support when I’m having a rough go, and the flow of love when I have good news to share. For all the shares, the tweets, everything- Thank you.
From my home to yours, here’s to a very Happy Thanksgiving!
My friend Echo has been writing these posts, “Hey, It’s Okay…” and they’re pretty awesome. I love how she puts herself out there, while simultaneously giving herself the permission to just be her, however she may be feeling in that moment.
I’ve toyed with doing a post of my own, but it hasn’t really felt right. Until today. Today, when my heart is heavy with words I can’t share here, and feelings that are too much.
So with a gentle nudge from one of my newest and most wonderful friends…
If I can’t help my mother the way she wants.
If I need to put my health (both physical AND mental) above the needs of those around me.
If the tears flow at the drop of a hat. Sometimes you just need a really good cry. Or ten.
To stick up for myself.
To be sad and angry at this disease, as long as I acknowledge those feelings instead of bottling them up.
If I want to take a day off and curl up with a Parenthood on Netflix marathon instead of facing responsibilities.
Yesterday the lovely Dorne over at Putting life into words was sweet enough to pass along to me the One Lovely Blog Award.
I always like meeting new bloggers, and to have them pass along a blogger award is a great treat. The rules of this award say that I must:
1. Thank the person who nominated me.
2. Add the logo to your post.
3. Share seven facts about yourself.
4. Nominate seven other bloggers you admire, and let them know on their sites.
So first up, many thanks to Dorne for nominating me. She never fails to stop by and leave a kind comment on my posts, which is wonderfully supportive and greatly appreciated by me.
Now, because of Ask Away Friday, I’m not sure if there are many facts about me I haven’t shared yet. So if y’all know any of these already, just let it slide this one time, okay?
*The song No Rain by Blind Melon has always spoken to me. It is my song. I read books to escape, I love the sound of rain, it is me. (My doggy, however, does NOT love the rain. Clearly, he’s not from the PACNW.)
*If my daughter had lived, I’d have a 5 year old princess right now. There are still nights I dream of her, and wake wishing I could spend the day playing with her.
*I was a picky eater long before IC and IBS caused me to be careful of what I eat.
*I will burst into tears anytime I see video of soldiers coming home. Every.Single.Time.
*If I had more money, I wouldn’t spend it on myself. I’m horrible with a budget, but most of what I spend is on gifts for others. I love showering love on those I care about.
*I’m a firm believer that what’s on the inside is more attractive than the outside. I find myself more attracted to personalities and certain quirks more than any physical type.
*I never thought I would be an advocate. I always dreamed of being a writer, but I thought it would be fiction. I never imagined my life would take these turns, but I wouldn’t trade them for anything. I take great pride in raising my voice for all of us.
And now to pass the award along to seven bloggers whom I adore.
Tamara from Tamara Like Camera because her photos make me smile and her words speak to my heart.
Dawnie from The Dawnie Project because I’d like to see what seven things I don’t know about her. Because she’s one of the few people I can speak openly to.
Tracie from From Tracie because she is the epitome of lovely and the sister I never had growing up, but have now in her. Because she gets me like most don’t.
Joules from Wonderishmama because her blog is everything I know to be lovely about her, and I want to learn more.
Echo from The Domain Of The Mad Mommy because I know there’s things about her I don’t know…yet. Also because I feel like she needs a smile this week.
Christy from Uplifting Families because her blog is full of lovely advice and tips for mothers and families and that’s something that should be celebrated.
Andrea from Good Girl Gone Redneck because she definitely needs a smile this week. And because of her lovely forethought, I’ve met even more bloggers who are all supporting each other in this wonderful writing group.
Much like Echo, my happy place is more a series of moments, little tidbits that make up an overflowing pool of happiness within me. Some are memories, some are actual places, some are dreams yet to be fulfilled, and some are the moments in my days that chase the dark away. These are the things I would think about if I were to fly with Peter Pan.
It’s a cozy chair, a mug of hot tea, a fuzzy blanket, and a good book.
It’s the joy and excitement my little doggy shows when we ask if he wants to go for a ride.
It’s looking into my newborn son’s eyes and seeing my future gazing back at me.
It’s an afternoon in the park, sprawled on a blanket under the sun. A picnic lunch after a trip to the library.
It’s the memory of a drawled, “Hello, dawlin.” and the feeling of knowing someone cares.
It’s a bubble bath, scented candles, and soft music playing.
It’s text messages from my son, little glimpses at his life away from me. It’s him telling me he loves and misses me.
It’s the kisses goodbye as Scotty leaves for work, and the kisses hello when he gets home in the evenings. It’s the texts throughout his day that let me know he’s thinking of me.
It’s an afternoon on the banks of the Puget Sound, a first date with a man my heart had known always.
It’s boardgames, Mario Kart, and popcorn and M&M’s.
It’s nights at Denny’s, sipping hot cocoa and getting to know each other.
It’s all the little things he does to make my life easier.
It’s afternoon naps with my doggy.
It’s hours long chats with the sisters of my heart. The talks about music, writing, life, and more that always leave me feeling loved and inspired.
It’s waking up each day and going to bed each night knowing I am loved, even when I don’t feel very lovable.
What is your happy place? Where do you go when you need a smile?
Cindy spends her days with her doggy and her Mr. Sunshine in the deep south, is co-founder of Spoons 4 Spoonies, and one of my dearest friends. She’s here sharing what it’s like to live a minimalist lifestyle, and how she’s living better with less stuff.
When Cindy isn’t out making the world a better place, she can be found on the tweeter machine sharing her views on life.
I remember, back in the 90’s, wondering where in the hell all these people were coming up with the money required to buy all the shit they bought. Looking back, I realize they weren’t–we were in the early stages of a credit-fueled spending spree that involved credit cards, home-equity loans, home improvement loans, second mortgages, personal loans, credit default swaps and other barely understandable made-up things that fed the consumerist frenzy that probably had its roots in the excesses of the 80’s.
Here I sit, post Great Recession, and I wonder why people are still buying all this stuff. Where are they putting it? What are they doing with it? We live in the great consumerist era, constantly bombarded with all kinds of messaging that tells us our clothes aren’t cool enough and we don’t have enough of them, our kitchens aren’t big/modern/gourmet enough, our hair isn’t shiny enough, our cars aren’t cool/new/big/fast enough, our dogs need shoes/coats/sweaters/toys/scarves/doggles/birthday parties, our electronic devices are built with planned obsolescence in mine so that in six months we will have to go get the newer/bigger/better/faster/more model, and if we don’t buy all this shit, we are somehow not enough.
I say enough, already. Stop the madness.
Dave Ramsey sums it up rather well.
“We buy things we don’t need with money we don’t have to impress people we don’t like.”
Once we buy it, we spend an insane amount of time and money organizing and cleaning and storing all this stuff. We don’t own this stuff, it owns us. We become defined by our stuff. It declares our status in society. It dictates how we spend our time. It goes further than that, though. The stuff we’re buying today isn’t even made as well as the stuff we were buying in the 90’s. We’re buying more poorly made plastic/polyester/disposable crap. This crap doesn’t last–the clothes fall apart after one or two washings, the phones are not cool after six months, the furniture breaks if the dog looks at it funny, the couches look worn in less than a year, and the shoes fall to pieces after being worn only a few times. Even buying designer is no guarantee of quality–I’ve seen four figure designer dresses made out of polyester shiny grossness that looked like something a cheap hooker might wear. I’ve personally had to resole $800 boots after only six months of occasional wear.
When I look back over my 44 years of life thus far, my happiest memories don’t involve stuff.
My happiest memories involve experiences and people. Riding the tractor with my dad. Playing trivia games with my mom, brother, and sister as a kid. Watching “The Mikado”, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, and “The Color Purple” from the stage left wings at The Strand Theatre. Standing on the beach on Christmas Day with my Mr. Sunshine, watching my little doggy bark fiercely at the waves as they rolled into shore.
My deepest moments of serenity have come when everything else was stripped away and I was left with nothing standing between me and my creator. Finally admitting I was an addict, and surrendering to the twelve steps. Huddling on the floor as a tornado destroyed the world around me. Standing in the middle of a seemingly endless field of grass, listening to the wind as it whispered in my ear.
Over the last four years or so, Mr. Sunshine and I have downsized. We moved from a bright airy house filled with furniture, clothes, shoes, and tchotchkies into an RV that has just enough room for very basic necessities. I’ve become quite the minimalist–almost to the point of brutalism.
I wish Sunshine were as minimalist as I am. In his defense, the stuffs he stockpiles is all very practical and useful; it just takes up space that I would much rather see filled with the light of my creator’s love.
Since we moved into this tiny house on wheels, I have given away, consigned, and trashed more clothes and shoes than I care to think about. It’s embarrassing, it’s shameful, it’s rather obscene. I have given away knicknacks, tchotchkies, thingamabobs, doohickies, and things. I miss none of them. Sunshine has given away tchotchkies, sold furniture, and thrown away things we can’t even figure out why he owned them. He misses none of them.
Now, none of this is to say that we don’t buy new things. It’s just that, today, when we bring something new into the house, something old must leave. There just isn’t room for new things, so we think very hard about how much we need or want a thing, how will it add value or enrich our lives, and what we are willing to give up to get it. We no longer mindlessly shop. We no longer feel compelled to buy shit we don’t want with money we’d rather spend on experiences to impress people we can’t fucking stand anyway.
These days, cleaning the house doesn’t take long at all. It’s less than 250 square feet. When I open my closet door, I’m not staring at an overstuffed hellhole crying about how I have nothing to wear. I’m not spending hours organizing, storing, and cleaning my stuff. These days, I get to spend my time walking around the lake with my little doggy, hanging out with those few people I CAN stand, and traveling to pretty places that remind me of the beauty my creator has given to us to enjoy.
The other upsides to having so much less stuff? I have BETTER stuff. I have stuff that I use again and again and again. The clothes I have are all clothes that I love, that make me feel fabulous, that serve my life as it is now (and not the life I thought I wished I had). I am not drowning in debt. I have more time to take care of myself, and less need of self-care because I am not overwhelmed with all the things I am supposed to do and all the things I am supposed to own.
“Boys and girls of every age, wouldn’t you like to see something strange?”
This is Halloween, this is Halloween. For this lovely day of fun, sweets, and fright, I’ve teamed up with Christy from Uplifting Families for a holiday themed version of Ask Away Friday. So grab your favorite candy, kick up your witch’s boots, and read away!
1. Are you planning on doing anything for Halloween?
My fiance and I are going to curl up at home with movies and snacks. No kiddos to take out, and our little doggy doesn’t really like a lot of commotion, so we won’t be handing out candy either. Just us and a little Time Warp 😉
2. What is your favorite kind of Halloween candy?
Anything chocolate. Seriously. Probably the better question is what candy do I hate. The answer being Necco wafers. Those things are disgusting.
3. Have you visited a pumpkin patch or other fall themed party this year?
No! *sad panda* I had high hopes for a corn maze or something, but then I got the sinus infection that lasted nearly all month, and just as I was feeling well enough, the torrential rains started. It’s like October conspired against me.
4. What do you think will be the most popular costume this year for girls?
Probably Elsa from Frozen. I’ve already seen it all over my timeline this week. Which? I get it. She’s a strong Disney character for little girls to look up to, and I think many can relate to the morals/emotions behind the story line.
Huh. I’m not sure what the big movies were this year. Maybe characters from Guardians of the Galaxy. My own kiddo is wearing a serial killer clown mask, a hoodie, and jeans. I sure hope he’s not planning on handing out candy, he’ll probably scar some little tyke.
5. What was your favorite Halloween costume growing up?
When I was four I got to be Rainbow Brite. It was one of those vinyl plasticy costumes with the masks you couldn’t breathe out of, but it was awesome. And now I want to be Rainbow Brite again.
6. Did you make any Pinteresting Halloween treats?
Sadly, no. Again with October working against me. Dinner tonight will probably be grilled cheese because that honestly sounds divine right now.
7. Do you plan on dressing up for Halloween? If so, what do your plan on wearing?
No costume this year. So I’ll be rocking yoga pants and a cozy tee. But I am wearing orange socks with little black jack o’lanterns all over them, so that has to count, right?
8. Do you enjoy going to haunted houses?
I do NOT. I hate having things pop out at me. Funny story, I went to one when I was pregnant with my kiddo. One of the “actors” lunged out at me and I hit him. I was not-so-kindly asked to leave the attraction by on-site security. I guess it’s against the rules for people to touch the actors but not for them to touch us? I don’t know. My parting words were, “HE SHOULDN’T HAVE LUNGED OUT AT A VERY LARGE PREGNANT WOMAN!” I’m classy like that.
9. Pick one: Would you rather go through a haunted house or stick your hand in a bucket of unknown goodies?
I can always wash my hand, so I choose option 2.
10. What is your favorite scary movie?
I’ve not liked any scary movie I’ve been forced to watch. I like suspense, but I hate gore and grime and maniacal screaming. My favorite movie to watch on Halloween? Young Frankenstein, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, or Nightmare Before Christmas.
Thank you for a great Halloween swap, Christy! I hope you all have a great holiday, and celebrate safely, however you choose to do it. Now pass the chocolate!
It’s a chilly morning here in the PACNW and I couldn’t be happier. Fall is swirling outside my windows with the howling wind and occasional downpours. I’m bundled up in cozy jammies, slippers, and a fuzzy blanket. My days are now filled with cups of hot tea and apple cider. And gratitude. Always gratitude.
*I’m grateful Scotty has an understanding and emphatic employer. It’s rare these days to find someone who understands that while work is important, family comes first.
*I’m grateful for framily who visits with a gorgeous, air purifying plant to decorate my home and help me breathe better. A fellow spoonie who constantly goes out of her way to make my life better.
*I’m grateful for blogger friends who help me navigate this world as I continue to expand my horizons. Friends who answer texts, even while out celebrating. Friends who answer the call of “HALP! I don’t know what I’m doing!” with a laugh of understanding.
*I’m grateful for a partner who does the little things. The ones he thinks don’t matter, but they all add up to make my days so much smoother and easier. He makes the role of caregiver look easy, though we all know it is not.
*I’m grateful for a kiddo who is honest and upfront with us, even when he’s broken something he knows we can’t afford to replace. He is not in trouble because he came to us and told us what happened instead of trying to hide it, and he is already working on a solution.
*I’m grateful for a doctor who understands my life in pain, and never doubts me. He helps me manage those pain levels without judgement. He never questions me when I tell him I hurt, he just works with me to find me the best comfort available. His staff are all equally caring, and it makes it easy to turn to them for help.
*I’m grateful for framily who send me tools to help me on this journey with chronic illness. And chocolate, because obviously. For cookbooks and letters that make me smile. For notes and lists of treatment options. For a little something that touches the heart and lets me know you thought of me while you were continents away.
*I’m grateful for gift cards and the little I earn from various rewards sites that allows us to keep our heads above water.
*I’m grateful for understanding friends who don’t hold things against me, even when I hold them against myself. Especially then. For friends who know I haven’t forgotten about them, even if it appears I’ve fallen off the map.
*I’m grateful for all of you. All who read my words and offer encouragement and support. All who pass my words on to others. Each of you gives me the purpose to get up each morning and pour my heart out for the world. You give me strength to reach a little further, and share my words among other avenues.
My gal Echo has graciously agreed to open up about parenting through pain with me and you all. She usually spends her days trying to hold on to what’s left of her sanity while raising and homeschooling two kiddos.
There is also mental and emotional pain. The pain that can’t always be seen, but is always there.
The emotional and mental pain, I believe, is more easily managed. Counseling, coping skills, natural remedies, medication, therapy. It takes a while to get into the “groove” of things, but it can happen.
Some of the coping skills I use to parent through my depression are:
*Blogging – Yes, blogging. I come online, I type shit out and I piss and moan to all of the people on the Internet that will read it. Does it help? It helps me. It helps me vent. It helps me process. It helps me laugh. *Humor – They say that laughter is the best medicine and I happen to agree. I love taking the daily chaos and turmoil in my life and turning it into something that can make myself and someone else laugh! *Drugs – Caffeine is my number one drug of choice! I need it, I love it, I wouldn’t be able to parent without it. I was on Prozac and Ambien for depression and insomnia, but I have weaned myself off of those and seem to be doing pretty good! *Cooking/Eating – I love to go shopping, buy fancy ingredients, cook a fancy ass meal and then rub it in my extended family’s face! Like ha, see, see what I can do. Fuck you.
I also yell, swear, take a hot shower, take naps (when I can), eat ice cream, eat Taco Bell and cry. Yes, I cry. Sometimes, you just have to cry!
Physical pain is harder to navigate. When you are in physical pain, everything is amplified x100. Your kid’s whining sounds like a thousand babies crying. The chocolate that just stained your carpet, didn’t “just” stain the carpet, it stained your very soul! You feel like you haven’t slept in days and no one, no one is going to help you!
I’m a parent…
It’s never just one LEGO!
It’s like this:
It’s like this all the time!
It fucking hurts!
Here are some of the ways that I parent through physical pain:
*Let it go – Seriously, I tend to let a lot more slide because I am in pain. I don’t want to get up. I don’t want to move. I don’t want to get all worked up about the ALL of the toys being in the living-room. *Sleep – I try to sleep when I can, where I can. Anytime, anywhere. If my kids are quiet and safe, I will sleep. Why? My body needs it to heal and I am less likely to bite someone’s head off when I am sleeping.
*Remedy – I try to remedy the pain in anyway possible! Seriously, I just want to stop hurting and when the doctors stop providing you with pain relief, you take things into your own hands!
It’s really about doing what you have to do for your kids and yourself. You have to parent through the pain because you have to be there for your kids. I know it sucks. Believe me. I deal with this shit everyday and although it sucks, royally, it is manageable. Give it time, make a plan and make sure that you have a strong support system. I’m not sure how I would cope if I didn’t have my husband supporting me and the support of the FABULOUS bloggers (my friends) that I have met online.
Don’t be afraid to reach out. Find a group. Online, offline, it doesn’t matter. Find someone you can talk to and not feel judged.
Write it down. Start a blog, write a journal. It really helps to get it out. To vent it. You don’t want to keep it bottled up.
Don’t be afraid to get help. Help for the emotional/mental pain and help for the physical pain. You do not need to deal with it alone!