Ask Away Friday, My Interview

I recently saw an article on Facebook titled something along the lines of, “20 Questions You Should Ask Your Partner Before Agreeing To Marry Them.” Since I’ve already agreed to marry Scotty, it seemed a little superfluous to start asking him these questions now, and most of them I already knew the answer to. Mostly because we talked a lot in those early days of dating, and also because I like to be nosy.

Anyhow, it got me to thinking, and I asked Scotty if he’d be willing to interview me for this week’s round of #AskAwayFriday. Shockingly, he agreed. (I was shocked because he’s had a crazy long week at work and tons of stress. The last thing he needs is another project. And yet, I gave him one. Aren’t I sweet?)

So here you have it, the ten questions Scotty just had to know about me. Who wants to lay bets on whether he’ll still want to marry me after he reads my answers?

1. What is your biggest pet peeve?

Oy. I actually have a couple that annoy me equally, but if I had to narrow it down, I would say: People who smack their food while talking. And yes, I am aware your father does this. And yes, he is aware it annoys me. And yes, I know that’s why he still does it.

2. Here’s a repeat from the swap I did with Tracie’s husband: If someone had never read your blog before, which post would you want them to read first?

First, I loved how Thomas answered this one, because I, too, am struck by Tracie’s free-writing about seemingly innocuous things. Second, it’s really hard for me to choose. If they were trying to get to know me, Just One…But So Much More, Who I Am, or any of the Ask Away Friday posts are a great start.

3. What do you consider the best thing (fact/life lesson/moment) that your son has shared with you?

Ooh, breaking out the big guns. Especially since you know how awesome this kiddo is. I’d have to say last summer when he was listening to Linkin Park, and was making connections with their lyrics to the issues currently facing our world, like equality and gun control. For him to have such insight at such a young age…I was blown away. And hopeful. Hopeful that he’ll continue to be such a deep and free thinker, and that he’ll someday use that mind to help change the world.

4. Board games or video games?

While I do enjoy Mario Kart and other games on the Wii U with you, I really prefer board games or even card games. They remind me of my childhood, and of spending time with my grandmother. Also, I’m fairly evenly matched against you when technology isn’t involved 😉

5. What is your favorite holiday, and why?

I love to celebrate, so I really love all holidays. Probably New Year’s is my favorite, though. I love the idea of starting anew, and getting a fresh start. Yes, I probably have made and broken tons of resolutions, but…it’s more about the excitement and the infectious feeling that suddenly anything is possible once again.

6. You have 24 hours to show a friend around our great state of Oregon. If sleep wasn’t required and money were no object, where would you take your friend?

Hrms. Well, it kinda depends on the friend, now doesn’t it? Certain friends have different interests, and Oregon has a little of something to offer everyone. But some basics I think everyone should see:

Crater Lake

source

The Coast

http://instagram.com/p/hFT4wcmiYj/?modal=true

7. You have been fighting invisible illnesses for some time now, starting with your diagnosis of RA almost three years ago. What do you know now that you wish you had known then?

I wish I had known what a huge and wonderful support system the online spoonie community is. It took me somewhere around six to nine months to stumble across the first chronic illness forums, and (as you may remember) those were months spent suffering without much hope. I also wish I had known that I could question my doctors, request second opinions, and do my own research. I went so blindly in the beginning, and some of those choices have caused damage that cannot be repaired.

8. If someone made a movie about your life, who would you want to play you? And who would have supporting roles?

I would love for Melissa McCarthy to play me. I adore her sense of humor, and I think we kinda resemble one another (she says humbly). As for supporting roles, I think Seth Rogan would be a good you. He’s funny and quirky, which are two things I love about you. Then we could cast Jonah Hill as Seth! And how about Christina Hendricks as Kristen, but mostly because of that gorgeous red hair. And Jerry Stiller could play your dad :p

9. You sang in school choir when you were growing up. If you could sing like any particular vocalist, who and why?

When I was younger, I dreamed of being the next Mariah or Whitney. Now though? I would love to be able to sing and write like Adele. In my grandest dreams, I can sing like Adele and I have a band where I do covers of all my favorite rock songs, in ballad form. Because I’m quirky like that.

10. Your love for Linkin Park is well known. Were you a fan of them before seeing them live in concert, or afterward?

I was a fan of them from the moment I saw them on one of the award shows in 2000, performing One Step Closer. I bought Hybrid Theory and those are the songs I hummed to my newborn child as I rocked him to sleep. I never looked back, either. I’ve loved every album they’ve put out, and seeing them live for my 25th birthday was one of the greatest gifts ever. I would love to see them again, and to get to take you and the kiddo.

 

Well, Scotty says he’ll still marry me, despite some of my answers :p So yay! Hopefully y’all enjoyed this take on Ask Away Friday. If you’d like to swap questions with me, shoot me an email at becominneurotic@gmail.com or check out the Facebook group. Scotty and I are off to enjoy a quiet weekend at home, hopefully curled up with a funny movie and some boardgames 🙂

 

Ask Away Friday The Husband Swap

The last few weeks, a few of the AAF bloggers have had swaps celebrating the men behind the bloggers. When the idea was first discussed on the forum, Tracie and I pounced. Since we’re super close, there’s not much Tracie and I don’t know about each other. That’s not to say a swap between us wouldn’t be fun, it would be, and I imagine we’ll do a swap one of these days.

But our significant others? They just know what Tracie and I pass along, or what they glean from social media. We decided to have my fiance and Tracie’s husband swap questions for each other.

 

So kick back in your best version of an Al Bundy pose and get ready to learn all about Scotty. Then hop on over to Tracie’s site to learn a little more about her husband, Thomas. Maybe you’ll see why Tracie and I feel we’ve nabbed a few of the last good men 😉

Thomas’s questions to Scotty (I should note that I’ve been instructed to copy and paste these questions EXACTLY as Thomas typed them. So I did, with the exception of adding my standard formatting.) –

1. What do you love most about Tia?

While it’s easy to say her smile or her eyes (because it’s true), I’d rather focus on a part of what makes her *her*. I truly love her generosity. She always tries to find ways to create pick-me-ups for friends, the time she spends helping others, all the things she does giving of herself. She is one of the most selfless people I know.

2. If it were possible to build a house and live successfully on any real planet or moon, besides Earth, which one would you pick, and why?
What about a fictional planet or moon? Example: Naboo or some place in the Degobah System

Well, given that Mars seems to be a “potential” destination for a manned mission (and perhaps way down the road an established colony) that would be my choice. I am so curious to find out if Martian soil would have the right chemical makeup to support growing crops. Obviously the issue of available water (or lack thereof) would come into play.

As for a fictional planet? It’s a toss-up between Rylos or the planet from Land of the Lost.

3. A day at the races, or a night at the opera?

Animal Crackers *and* The Game.

4. I’ll give you $500 to spend the night in A) the most haunted house, B) the most decrepit catacomb, or C) the deepest cave. Which one do you choose? Is $500 enough? (Oh, by the way, you can’t bring any weapons or lights!)

Seeing as how caves and catacombs give me the creeps, I’d probably have to choose the haunted house. But I would have picked that anyway. There’s a bit of a thrill in having to endure something like that, and really, if I can’t bring any weapons, it’s the safest environment. And I suppose $500 would be enough, but I’d gladly take more!

5. Which cartoon character best represents your personality? (For instance, I’m Foghorn Leghorn, with a little Fred Flintstone thrown in for good measure.)

I’m certainly a mix of several characters. There’s a little bit of Barney Rubble, Daffy Duck and all three Ed’s from “Ed, Edd, and Eddy” in my personality. There’s also a Canadian cartoon that I’ve caught on “over-the-air” broadcast TV called “Being Ian”. It’s about a kid who works in a music store, makes movies, and is always in a predicament. I think they based it on me!

6. What is the worst movie you have ever seen? (I’m sure it will be Mars Attacks, but Tracie is beating me about the head and shoulders yelling, “Dude, Where’s My Car!!” which I have never seen.)

First, I liked “Mars Attacks”. Second, I’ve never seen “Dude, Where’s My Car?” either. Third, I’ve seen many stinkers over the years due to watching my favorite TV show of all time, Mystery Science Theater 3000.

So, all that being considered, I’ll adjust the criteria to being a movie I paid money to watch in the theater. And that makes the answer simple: “The Day After Tomorrow” starring Dennis Quaid and Jake Gyllenhaal. I remember watching it and thinking, “this has to go somewhere, right?” It was so cliched; just bad.

7. Are you pro or against changing the name of the Washington Redskins?

If you had asked me 10-15 years ago, I bet my answer would have been different. But ask me now, and I will tell you I am *for* changing it. It’s extremely insensitive in this day and age, especially when matched with their logo. The same can be said for the Cleveland Indians.

At the risk of sounding like a hypocrite, but in the interest of full disclosure, I am also a lifelong Atlanta Braves fan. While I still own memorabilia with their highly inappropriate logo from the 1980’s, it’s not something I’m overly proud of. I would be alright with them eliminating to the tomahawk logo, or at least phase it out significantly.

8. What time period and geographic location would you choose to live in if you could go back in time? And, yes, you can bring your own Novocain, Penicillin, and a Physicians Desk Reference (because I’m not sharing mine).

While it’s not very long ago, I’ve always had a fondness for late 1920’s / early 1930’s Hollywood. The architecture, the climate, the “freshness”. I’ve always imagined a sense of hopefulness around that era.

If I had to choose something more than just 80-90 years in the past, I’d love to live in Europe in the mid to late 1700’s and experience the works of Mozart and Beethoven as they were presented for the first time.

9. Is it better to burn out or fade away?

Hey hey, my my… It is better to fade away, because burning out can be pretty absolute. I’d like to believe that you can fade away while still enjoying whatever you’re fading away from or with.

10. We have an ongoing disagreement in our family about the lyrics to Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer. Tracie has asked people this question to get them on her side before, and now it is my turn. When you get to the line, “Then all the reindeer loved him, and they shouted out with glee…..” what word do you say next? “Glee!” or “Yippee”? I am sure that you will get this correct and say GLEE! We should form an alliance. You are going to say glee, right?

Um… Honestly? Neither! I always said “Whee!” So, does that answer give me Switzerland-like neutrality?

Bonus Question: Which Oregon team would you least like to see Alabama stomp into the ground?

Easy… Oregon State! But I know that if they were to face Alabama, the Beavers would be thoroughly stomped. Sad, but true!

 

WOW! Well, as you can imagine, I’m over here sobbing and smiling like a goon at his answer to number 1. What a great bunch of questions, and of course, Scotty had some wonderful answers! Don’t forget to hop over to Tracie’s site and check out the other half of this swap.

Thank you Tracie and Thomas for such a fun post! Happy weekend!

I Have It Easy

I have it easy, being the sick one.

I know what you’re thinking, and no, I haven’t lost it. At least, not yet. But I’ll back up a bit for you.

I’ve been battling this current flare since right around Valentine’s Day. It’s had me particularly concerned because this time around, I have neck stiffness and pain along with a pretty constant headache. This is not a common symptom for me, and has had me worried that RA may be attacking my spinal joints. Not a promising prospect.

My doctor has me on a pretty aggressive course of steroids and pain medication until my appointment with the new rheumatologist on the 1oth. I’ve been doing okay, resting as much as I’m able and laying low, but things really amped up this weekend. I spent most of Friday night wide awake, fighting the urge to burst into tears from exhaustion and stress. By Saturday evening, I was dizzy, the headache had reached the point where I thought my head would explode, and I had developed a whooshing sound in my left ear.

So off we went to the ER.

They took good care of me in the hospital, and after administering medication for a migraine, which worked well, they sent me home with orders to rest and not let my pain medication wear off.

I awoke Sunday feeling almost human. I dutifully took my meds and even felt up to a run to the store for some much needed groceries. My fiance said he wasn’t feeling well, but we both thought it was from a lack of good sleep over the past two nights.

We made it halfway through Safeway before he gave out. While contemplating a sale on cookies, all the color drained from his face and he said he felt weak. He insisted I finish shopping while he waited in the cafe area. I rushed through my list, torn between worry and my own pain.

We made it home safely and I quickly ordered him into pajamas and went about loading him up on medicine and fluids. He curled up on the couch where he dozed off and on while I tried working on a few projects, reaching over every so often to check his forehead for signs of a fever.

Y’all, I don’t know how he does it.

It ate at me ALL DAY to know he was sick, hurting, miserable, and there was nothing I could do to take it away. I sat helpless as he napped, my hands itching to DO SOMETHING. I wanted, NEEDED to take away his pain and discomfort. I needed to make him feel better and it was all out of my hands.

Last night, as we got ready for bed, he thanked me for taking care of him. I nearly burst into tears as I asked him how he does it. He takes care of me EVERY SINGLE DAY. Every day he spends worried about me, checking me over for new symptoms, watching me for signs of disease activity. Every day he handles me with gentle touches, careful to not cause me any further pain. Every day he watches helplessly while I battle RA.

And there is nothing he can do.

He can’t take away the pain or the fatigue. He can’t erase the swollen knuckles. He does the little things, like rub my back and warm up the heating pads, but in his mind, it’s not enough. He loves me and wants so desperately to heal me, to take away my pain and discomfort.

Like I said, I have it easy being the sick one.

Fortunately, he seems to be a bit more himself today. It’s likely he’s picked up a bug and that combined with the lack of sleep and worry over me kicked his butt. He has his own invisible illness though, so the worry is always there that it’s something more.

I guess that’s the crux of truly loving someone. I live with my pain because I don’t have any other choice. But I would give a year of good days to take away his pain and illness. In a heartbeat.

A Symbol Of So Much More

My relationship with my fiance has been far from conventional.

To start, we met online. Not through one of those dating sites like Match or eHarmony. Just a simple chat room where we struck up a conversation about Green Day.

Though we had exchanged pictures, we both will tell you we knew we loved the other before we had ever met face-to-face.

Rather than brave a long distance relationship, I threw caution (and some would say all reason) to the wind and moved over 200 miles to be with him.

Within our first year together, he had helped me through the loss of my daughter and an ovarian cyst rupture. Over our four years, we’ve braved chronic illness, his father’s fall and resulting disability, financial woes, and loss.

Last Valentine’s Day, when he asked me to be his wife while holding a ring from a vending machine, I didn’t think I could ever be happier. Over the Christmas holiday, he talked to my parents and got the approval of them and my sisters. We marked the occasion with a gorgeous vintage black opal ring.

I’ve never been the one for the giant diamond rings. I like simple or unique. I’ve never wanted an engagement ring that we’ll be making payments on for the next five years. Though the opal ring needed to be sized up so I could wear it even when RA has my fingers swelling, I was thrilled with it.

My guy though, he’s always wanted to give me that romantic moment. The big deal, the surprise, the impressive ring. No matter how many times I said I didn’t want or need it, he would not be swayed.

Last night, he succeeded in surprising me and giving me that romantic moment.

Our hairdresser Cathy is more like family. She’s known my fiance since he was ten. More than winning his dad’s approval, I instinctively knew that Cathy would be the deal breaker. If I couldn’t pass her muster, it might be the end of things. I don’t know that I won her over that first visit, but she certainly won me over. Over the years, Cathy has welcomed me into her heart. She has become my family as well as a dear friend. She is a blessing in our lives, and when we told her we were talking marriage, she jumped up and down with us.

What I didn’t know was that for the last year or so, she’s been conspiring with my fiance to give me this wonderful moment.

A gorgeous blue diamond

Cathy passed on one of her own rings for my engagement ring. They worked together to get it perfectly sized for my swollen finger. It’s simple, unique, and fantastically gorgeous. More than the ring, though, it was a symbol that this woman who is like a second mother to my fiance deems me worthy to be his wife.

Every girl dreams of that moment, the one when everything clicks, when you know your future has been blessed. I thought I had that moment when Cathy jumped up and down with us last spring. I thought I had it again over Christmas with my family, when my parents hugged us and wished us well. No.

I finally had my moment last night when he slipped this ring on my finger. A beautiful gift from a family friend who is more like our guardian angel.

Not many girls get three engagement rings, let alone all from the same man. But I’ve known from day one that he is special. And I’m the luckiest girl alive.

He Picks His Battles

Last night I re-read the story of Beyonce.

And because I was chuckling hard enough to shake the bed, it wasn’t a surprise when my fiance said, “Let me guess, you’re reading the Bloggess?” I nodded, wiped the tears from my eyes and handed my phone to him so he could read it, too. I smiled to myself as he laughed in all the right places.

I won’t ruin the story for those who haven’t read it, but if you haven’t, you really should go do that now.

This morning as I stepped out of my shower, I remarked to my fiance, “Now…this isn’t because I made you read the Bloggess last night, but…”

He interrupted me with, “We need new towels.”

 

And this y’all, is why I will marry this man.