Stream Of Consciousness- The Holidays Are Here

I haven’t done one of these in a while, but a few of my loves from the Facebook writing group have linked up. And wouldn’t you know it, about five minutes of freewriting might be all I have in me today. Yeah, I know it’s not Saturday or Sunday, but I really don’t think anyone’s gonna mind too much.

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There is a Christmas tree in my living room. It’s not decorated yet, that will come later this week. But it’s here, with its reminder that the holidays are here as well.

Not that I needed another reminder.

My mother has been calling for weeks, trying to nail down plans for Thanksgiving. In her state, she hasn’t heard me each time I’ve told her that we won’t be joining them for the holidays this year. As much as I want to see my sisters, the stress of dealing with my parents is just too much for me. Not that Mom wants to hear that.

Stress has been really bad here, lately. I’m not sleeping well, the teeth clenching isn’t going away, and I can feel a flare coming. Can’t do much about it, though, cuz I can’t stop stressing.

Stressing about money, about Christmas gifts. About my mom and her drinking. About my health, about my fiance’s health. Whether or not we’ll both qualify for health insurance again this year. Whether my doggy has arthritis and that’s why he’s been struggling to jump onto our bed at night. Stressing about finding placement for my father-in-law. Stressing about the wedding, and how we’ll ever be able to afford anything. How we still haven’t found a venue, how we need photos so we can do save-the-dates.

The stress doesn’t go away.

But in the meantime, there’s apple butter simmering away in my crockpot. And that’s another sign, the holidays are here.

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10 thoughts on “Stream Of Consciousness- The Holidays Are Here

  1. Hi Tia, congratulations on your SITS Day! I hope it’s a wonderful day for you.

    I sincerely hope you have a wonderful holiday season. I can totally relate to having a chronic illness (I’ve lived with Fibromyalgia & all of the not so wonderful things that come with it for nearly 20 years now), and trying to cope with it and everything else life throws at you… a definite challenge! It’s not easy, but it’s nice to find people who understand, people who can relate, people who will listen. 🙂

    I completely understand how stress exacerbates chronic illness too – it’s a vicious cycle at times. And the holidays, unfortunately, can be extremely stressful. Just yesterday I felt stressed to the point of tears over having to make a Thanksgiving dinner for my extended family. While I really do enjoy doing it, it feels overwhelming at times – especially when my energy is low and my body hurts all over. The last thing I want to do is get up at the crack of dawn and baste a huge turkey all morning. But I’m very blessed to have a wonderful husband and three terrific kids that are willing to help. A good support system is what we need. 😉

    Wishing you a wonderful, stress-free Thanksgiving, good health, much happiness, and peace.

    Michelle 🙂

    1. Thanks Michelle! I’m sorry to hear about your having Fibro, one of my dearest loves has it, and it’s certainly a hard path. I hope you’ll stop back by occasionally, and we can maybe share tips with one another. I hope your holiday weekend is as stress-free as possible, and that you’re able to have joy and happiness, calm and relaxation. I genuinely appreciate all of your kind words and wishes ❤ Happy Thanksgiving!

  2. That stress will eat you up if it can. Stupid stress.

    Try to tackle things one at a time, and toss the things that aren’t in your power to tackle. The save-the-date pictures might be one of the easiest things on that list. Grab a friend, go to a pretty spot, and start smiling. Make an afternoon of it. Let yourselves relax and have fun…it will show in the pictures and it will show in the reduction of stress. Wear your favorite, comfortable clothes. Let your beautiful heart shine through. They will be amazing.

    1. Girl, don’t I know it *hugs*
      Scotty and I talked a few things out last night, and I’m feeling a bit better. I like your plan for the photos, I think we may be able to make those happen this weekend. I may just have to have you proof them with me 😉

  3. Apple butter sounds delicious. Recipe coming soon? 🙂 Or did you just want to actually ENJOY it?

    I’m sorry you’re having stresses, my friend. I wish for a peaceful and relaxing T-Day for you and the mister and hope you enjoy all that comes your way this holiday season. xo

    1. LOL It’s actually a pinterest link. I think I pinned it to our group board. It’s stupid easy, the hardest part is peeling and chopping the apples. It cooks overnight, your house smells amazing, and you have a wonderful homemade treat!
      Thank you for the love, Scotty and I talked out some of my stresses last night, and I think I have some tools in place to make sure this weekend is nice and peaceful for us. Wishing a happy holiday to your family, please know I’ll be thinking of you ❤

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