Every description of a Leo personality I’ve ever read says Leo’s love being the center of attention, love the limelight, love being leaders. And for most of my life I have adamantly denied that these descriptions applied to me.
I don’t like to have the light shone on me. (Says the woman who shares her life with the interwebs. Ahem.) But I really DON’T. I’d much rather showcase those around me than to take the light for myself. I get embarrassed and bashful when I’m the center of attention. It’s probably very closely tied with my stage fright, but that’s a topic for my therapist to dissect.
Anyhow, when I started this blog, and started sharing my journey, my stories, with the interwebs, it was as much for me as for anything. It was a way of journaling and processing all that was happening in my life. And if it helped someone along the way, then awesome. I soon realized it was cathartic for me to write my stories, and rewarding to know someone found solace or comfort in my words. I shared more of my path until I realized I had turned some corner and was not only a writer, but an advocate.
Even then, I shied away from praise and the limelight. I wasn’t doing anything special, I was just writing about my life. So yes, when others tell me how strong or brave I am, I still blush and babble about how I’m just me.
Because that’s how I see it. I’m just me.
I’m not strong or brave or courageous. I’m just me, living this life the only way I know how. Because the other option? That’s giving up. And that is NOT an option for me. So it’s not brave that I get out of bed every day to battle, it’s just me being stubborn.
Fortunately, I have awesome friends who remind me that being stubborn is actually a form of bravery (or stupidity, sometimes). Friends who constantly lift me up, who don’t let me brush off the compliments and well-meant platitudes. Because they know it’s important to recognize and celebrate every good thing.
I might just be me, but maybe I’m a brave me. I’m certainly stronger than I ever thought I could be, and stronger than I often give myself credit for. If it’s courageous to drag this cranky body out of bed each day, well heck…I guess I’ll go stand in line with the cowardly lion for my pretty badge.
I say all that to tell you this:
You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. You are brave and courageous. Did you wake up and draw breath this morning? Then you are a rockstar and you deserve some of that limelight. You might feel like me, like you just don’t have any option, but that doesn’t make it any less noteworthy.
It takes tremendous determination to stare a life of chronic pain and illness in the face and say, “I will keep living, despite…” To get up in the morning and LIVE despite the pain and fatigue. To carve out a path to your dreams despite the limitations and roadblocks.
It is an act of great strength to be YOU, in spite of all that would knock you down.
So this is me, asking you to join me in the limelight. Today we say yes, we are strong. We are brave. We are living, in spite of, and we’re doing it better than we ever thought we could.