Who I Am

There’s a country song called “Who I Am” by Jessica Andrews that has always made me smile. I love how she lists all the attributes that make up all the different parts of her. No matter my love-hate relationship with country music, this song is always one I will sing at the top of my lungs.

Recently my friend Megan shared a post she’d written some time ago. While the words were her own, it held all that I love about that song. It told of where she’s from and who she is, all the parts that make her unique. I got goosebumps as I read along and was inspired to write my own. So here, with Megan’s blessing, is who I am…

I am military dress blues and loving my country. I am air shows and gazing in awe at the powerful jets. I am the daughter of a military spouse, fighting the good fight on the home front. I am D.o.D. school in a strange country and learning to speak German so I can order from the local deli for my mother.

I am Mary’s granddaughter, twice over. I am quiet Saturday afternoons in the little rock house on the hill spent with jigsaw puzzles and Merle Haggard on the ancient stereo. I am strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting, blueberry muffins, REAL vanilla cokes, and hot turkey hoagies from Yummies shop. I am nights spent rooting for the Portland Trailblazers and watching In The Heat Of The Night.

I am afternoons spent watching Fraggle Rock with Nancy, my Cabbage Patch doll- named after Mrs. Reagan. I am Rubik’s cubes and classic rock. I am the favorite niece, though we don’t tell anyone.

I am from split homes and blended families. I am without a constant home to say “I grew up here.” I am turmoil and rebellious teen years. I am conflict and tension.

I am red hair, black hair, and every shade in between. I am tall and skinny, awkward and unsure. I am desperate for someone to notice me and terrified they will see too much of me. I am young love with all the wrong boys.

I am the teen mother scared to death of doing something wrong. I am late night rockings and early morning snuggles. I am baby’s first steps at his first birthday party. I am Bob the Builder, Dora the Explorer, Finding Nemo, and Spongebob Squarepants.

I am from “we don’t talk about that” and “suck it up.” I am part of a long line of mental illness. I am anxiety, OCD, and depression.

I am from a line of women who “run to fat after they have babies.” I am a 14 year battle with my body. I am hips that are a little too full for my taste, I am a tummy I wish would just shrink away. I am diets tried and failed.

I am the path to the future.

I am chronic illness and living life despite it. I am advocate, fighter, friend. I am spouse, lover, partner. I am sister, adopted family. I am finding where I belong and carving out my place in the world. I am leaving my mark and finding my passions. I am songs sung behind closed doors and secrets spilled onto a computer screen.

I am love, compassion, understanding. I am change. I am hope.

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Who I Am

  1. What an amazing first post to read from you, Tia. It’s a glimpse of who you have been, who you are, and who you hope to be. It’s very nice to meet you!

Got something to say?

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s