#DayOfLight -It’s A Real Struggle

Today I’m joining up with my gal Andrea and other awesome bloggers for #DayOfLight

Depression is a very real thing, yo.

And for those of us battling chronic illness, it’s almost a required buddy. On nearly every message board, forum, and website for chronic illness there are studies quoted showing how we are at a higher risk for depression.

I battled depression well before my diagnosis. As a young divorcee, I was overwhelmed and hit a point so low, I attempted to take my own life. Fortunately, I failed. I confided in family members and I got help. I’m one of the lucky ones. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still struggle.

Many of you know that we lost my oldest step-brother to suicide almost six years ago. Losing him, I made a renewed promise to myself and to my loved ones- I would continue to seek mental health support and I would never make another attempt on my life. That doesn’t mean that I don’t still struggle.

Because depression doesn’t just go away.

It’s a daily choice to take care of myself, not just physically, but mentally.  Some days are easy, some days are hard. Some days I just want to hide in my bed and forget the world exists.

Because depression isn’t just going to disappear, I work with my doctors to stay on top of my care. Yes, I take medication. I know that’s not the answer for everyone, but it’s what works for me. I also do yoga. It took a long time to find what works for me, and on any given day, what I need can differ. The important thing is that you are aware of how you’re feeling and you take that time for yourself, whatever it is.


Talk to your doctor. Or your family. Or your best friend. Talk to me. I’m not a doctor and I don’t pretend to be a medical professional, but I can listen. I can hold your hand (even virtually) while you take the steps needed to get help.

You are not weak. It is not giving up or giving in.

You are not alone.

7 thoughts on “#DayOfLight -It’s A Real Struggle

  1. What an important message. Our town just lost a recent high school graduate to suicide. I didn’t know her, but by all accounts she had everything going for her – supportive family, at an Ivy League college, great athlete. . .only 19. Depression is a fucking bitch. I love your idea of making a daily choice to take care of yourself.

  2. I am so sorry that you lost a loved one to this monster. People don’t realize how much pull this illness has on our rational thoughts and behaviours. We will do anything to rid ourselves of the demons that oppress us. Depression is incredibly painful. Incredibly painful.
    I’m glad that you’re taking the upper hand. Yes, we still struggle but we fight harder. Taking medications is nothing to be ashamed of and yes, we have to put our part into recovery too. People tend to forget that we are our first line of defence which means doing a lot of self care.
    Love that you did this.

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