Four years ago, my life changed beyond belief.
I went on a first date with a man I had met in a chatroom.
Neither of us had been looking for a relationship when we started talking, we were just looking for friends. But after many evenings spent discussing everything from music to life to movies to our past relationships to books to our dreams, we had finally realized that we just might be falling for each other.
Of course we were shy at first, and I know I was nervous as all hell the day of our first date. Even though we were just heading to a park, I probably changed my outfit ten times. He picked me up and OH THE BUTTERFLIES! I fidgeted as we drove to the store for a picnic lunch and then to the park.
We talked about all kinds of things that day, sitting on a small beach and holding hands. He smiled at me across the picnic table and I knew my heart was lost.
Four years later and he can still give me butterflies, his smile still makes me melt.
We’ve had some bumps along the way, but they’ve only ever managed to make us stronger as a unit. He is my partner in every way. When I got sick, he held my hand as we searched for answers and treatment. He goes to every doctor’s appointment with me and knows my medications as well as I do. He can read my energy level just by looking at me and is constantly picking up the slack when I just don’t have any spoons left.
I struggle with the fact that he works so hard to provide for us and there’s very little I can do to help. Sometimes the guilt is overwhelming and I feel like crying. Then he hugs me and tells me it’s all going to be okay, and I believe it is. Somehow we always make it.
I can only imagine where the next four years will take us. We have many dreams, it will be exciting to make them come true together. And that’s the crux of it. No matter what the future holds, I know he’ll be right by my side for whatever it is.
And he’ll still be holding my hand.