I love lists.
I’m not sure if it’s because of my OCD tendencies or if it’s just part of who I am, but making lists always makes me feel better. I’m sure some would laugh if they saw the glee on my face as I carefully write out our grocery list each month.
Because of my pain levels, my to-do lists lately have been non-existent. I’ve been hesitant to make a list only to be disappointed when I fail to cross anything off of that list. While on Facebook yesterday, I saw it was a common thread among my fellow spoonies. Why make a list and set goals if we’re just going to be disappointed when we can’t meet those goals?
I remembered Dawnie‘s wise words (they come to me at my darkest of times like a light in the tunnel) and sat down to draft a new list. Instead of focusing on the HUGE tasks like “Clean the kitchen,” I wrote smaller items like “Wash one sink full of dishes.” By breaking my chores into smaller items I was setting more attainable goals. I also gave myself a reward for each thing I was able to accomplish, instead of beating myself up for what I couldn’t finish. Wash a load of dishes? Sit with my feet up and play Dragon Story. (I blame Crys for this new addiction.) Walk to get the mail? Have a bit of my treasured chocolate from Natalie.
I noticed a new feeling when I tucked myself in last night. Maybe it was hope, but it also felt like pride. I was proud of what I had done that day, instead of the usual feelings of disappointment at what I was unable to do. And this morning? I woke up excited to make a new list.