I’ve struggled with my writing this week.
I could list the reasons… The bouncing weather keeps wreaking havoc on my joints, we’ve had many errands to get ready for a visit from my kiddo next week, I was tired.
While these are all true, they’re not the whole reason. Mostly, I just couldn’t find the words I wanted. Then Thursday happened and I had all kinds of words but wasn’t sure if I could share them. I’m still not sure how wise it is that I share them, but my head is screaming at me and well, this is my place to share, damnit.
Thursday started off pretty decent. The fiance was off to the side job for the day. It was going to be a good day, as he was going to be officially accepting the owner’s offer of full time employment. He left with a smile that was mixed excitement and nervousness. I was having a rough day. The summer storms that rolled through on Wednesday had hit me hard and fatigue was crawling at me.
I tried to do some stitching, but kept having to start over or rip out stitches because my sleepy eyes were making mistakes. I set my stitching aside and decided to take a nap. I took along headphones to listen to an audiobook since there were kiddos playing outside and I knew the noise would keep me awake.
Instead of a restful nap, I got into an altercation with a neighbor because I asked her to quiet down as I was trying to rest. (I could hear her conversation over the fan running in my window and through the headphones.) The argument triggered a panic attack and when I went to stand up, my legs gave out and I fell, hitting my bookcase on the way down.
Long and short story, I fell a few more times and freaked out. I called my doctor who directed me to the ER. I had to call my fiance and pull him away from his budding new opportunity. I was in tears, terrified and angry all at once, and in increasing pain. One EKG, CT scan, a few more tests, a neck brace, and a shot for the pain later it was determined that I had a concussion.
I made a lame joke about marking it off my bucket list and was given strict instructions to go home and REST.
And so I’m here, resting when I’d like to be crafting. The headaches are a bitch, the dizziness makes me want to throw up, and the groggy brain is frustrating as all get out. Which makes writing somewhat difficult.
I’ve followed up with our property management regarding the incident as this is a problem neighbor who we’ve had issues with in the past. I won’t say more than that because I don’t want to jeopardize anything. I will say that the managers have been very understanding of my medical needs and are working with us. They are wonderful.
Now I’m gonna go crawl back under my blankets and put something mindless on my TV. And take another pain pill.