The Ghost of a Mother

To The Woman I’ll Never Meet

I see your face every morning when I wake.

I’ve seen pictures and I know it’s your smile that peeks out of his face. While he may have his dad’s twinkle in his eyes, it’s your dimples that I fell in love with from the very start.

It’s your open mind that I know I can share anything with, that I know will understand me when I don’t understand myself.

Occasionally I’ll watch a romantic comedy or those silly wedding shows on TV and I have a brief thought that I’m lucky to not have to worry about having a mother in law that I don’t get along with. But my heart lurches with that thought.

I want so badly to know you.

I want your help as we make these tentative plans for our future. I want lunches with you where you tell me stories of when he was younger and we can giggle over how much he hasn’t changed.

I want to be able to tell you what an amazing son you raised.

Do you know that you raised someone who puts everyone else’s needs before his own? That he is so giving of himself that he puts himself last?

Did you get to see how caring and sweet he is? Did you get to know this wonderful heart that he’s given to me?

I watch him so often and wonder which of his little quirks he learned from you. I see him so often with his dad, I know what he picked up there!

Do you know that he misses you so very much? That his heart aches for you even on the most benign of days?

Your loss changed him in ways that I may never fully know.

I hope that you’re still watching over him. I hope you can see how wonderfully he takes care of me, of his dad. How he’s taken my son in and loves him SO GREAT. How he works so very hard to provide for us and how he’s still playing the music you inspired within him.

Do you know he sings now? And that he’s come out of his shell a bit. Occasionally he’ll walk around the crowd while playing his guitar.

Your shy son does that.

I guess I said all that to say this: You’ve raised a gem, a true diamond in the rough. He is my world and he’s promised me a future together. I promise I won’t take him for granted, this gift you’ve given me.

Thank you for raising the man I love. I only hope to do the same for my son.

Your Daughter in Law To Be

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