This is why I know I can’t succeed at NaNoWriMo.
I get all excited about writing and inevitably life intervenes. Sometimes, writing everyday just isn’t gonna happen.
They do say that the road to hell is paved with good intentions.
When I left you last week, I said I was taking a little break to enjoy the holiday. Our Thanksgiving was exactly what I’d hoped for and exactly what we needed. Wednesday evening I made apple-cranberry cobblers and prepped for Thursday. I took one of the cobblers next door to our neighbor. She’s a sweet lady who has her own wealth of medical problems. She gets out sometimes but she’s has been sick and I wanted to make sure she had something warm and sweet for her holiday. We visited a bit which warmed my heart and, oddly enough, calmed my anxiety.
Thursday started with me popping the ham into my crockpot, setting the rolls to rise, and snuggling back into bed for extra rest. Then my boyfriend and I got dressed in comfy clothes and got started on cooking. Our menu for the day was:
Three cheese baked pasta
Mashed potatoes with gravy
Roasted broccoli and cauliflower
Fresh baked rolls
Our friends, one of whom is a vegetarian, were going to be bringing scalloped potatoes and cranberry sauce. And possibly a tofurkey.
When our friends arrived, they had no tofurkey (YAY!) but they had brought rum and HPNOTIQ to share. We all made drinks, had platefuls of yummy food, and watched The Love Guru. I laughed, I smiled, and I relaxed. After our guests left, my boyfriend and I headed to bed early. Because he works in retail, he had to be at work at 4:30 the next morning.
Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were spent working on projects for Band Back Together, finishing up crafts for a local craft sale, and readying decorations for Christmas. Much of this bled over into yesterday, complete with me mixing a batch of body scrub at 9pm last night. Through it all, I was thankful.
I have so much gratitude this holiday season. For the friends I have that are more like family. For the family I’m making with my boyfriend and my son. For being able to work at things I love on my own terms and the organization that lets me volunteer my time and ideas. For the people who help to make our lives easier. For being able to help people simply by sharing of myself. For the love, understanding, support, and encouragement of my boyfriend.
I’m thankful that while I am sick and there is no “getting better,” still I have the use of my hands most days and can still walk, even if I need assistance sometimes. I know there are warriors out there that are battling this disease from wheelchairs or even beds. If my hands ache in this cold weather, at least they still let me type. If my feet are sore with swollen joints, at least I can still move about my apartment most days.
As November comes to a close, I’ve decided that I want to continue my path of gratitude and self-care. I’ve learned a lot this month about myself and the people who mean the most to me and I’d like to continue this journey.
I’ve discovered that I have some unresolved emotions regarding parts of my past. As I’ve examined myself and my life, these things have come back to me. I know I can’t truly be free to continuously be happy until I’ve conquered all of my demons. I had thought that just trying to forget about my past would solve things. But a bandage over a festering wound will only hold for so long.
Throughout December, I’ll continue to write about the things and people who are touching my life. I also imagine there will be some soul baring. I want so badly to live a happier, less stressful life. I know I can accomplish this if I keep working on taking care of myself and showing thanks for the blessings in my life.
You know what they say about flies, vinegar, and honey…