Day 3, Love and Freedom

Today has been three months since my 30th birthday. The big 3-0.

As I look lovingly at the books my love bought me for my birthday, I’m overcome. I’m thankful for having such a wonderful partner in my life. Last month we celebrated three years together. We’ve survived stress, struggle, finances, medical problems, and moving. We’ve never given up on each other.

I’m well aware that what we have is rare, not easy to find. After all, it took me a good number of years to find it. And it seemingly just fell into my lap. In reality, we had both learned a great deal from our past relationships and knew what we wanted. Early on, we sat in his car after a date and talked about how things were progressing. We made two promises to each other that night.

*We promised to always keep open lines of communication.

*We promised to take things one day at a time, to not set expectations that might not be met.

I’m proud to say that those two things are still strong backbones of our relationship. And I’m thankful today for still having this man who loves me so unconditionally. He constantly makes me feel special, loved, supported, appreciated, equal.

To show my thankfulness for this miracle of a love, I’ve planned a nice evening for us. He works today and tomorrow, but has this evening off. We have some grocery shopping to do but then I’m cooking us some comfort food and we’re going to curl up with a funny movie in bed.

We rarely have time for a movie, and when we do, we usually don’t have the energy. Tonight, we’re making the time and energy. We’re going to relax together and laugh a bit. And it doesn’t get much better than that.

For myself, I’m giving myself permission to not clean house today. Yes, there are dishes to be done. Yes, there are leaves on the floor. (They are gorgeous fall leaves, but they’d be so much prettier outside and not all over my carpet. Infernal things come in each time we open the door.) Yes, there are clothes all over the bedroom. Today, I won’t let it bother me. I will put my feet up and give them the rest they deserve. I will allow my body to regain some of the energy that’s been sapped over the last week.

If you’re anything like me, you’ll know this is HUGE. Because it’s not about the dishes or dirty floor. It’s about feeling like a failure. We put these expectations on ourselves and when we can’t/don’t accomplish something, we feel like we’ve failed. And then the guilt eats at us. Well, I’m not letting it happen today. I’ve given myself permission to not think about housework.

Love, relaxation, and freedom from guilt. Are we making progress, readers?


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