It’s been a whirlwind last week.
The pneumonia/cold from hell seems to be clearing up with the horse pill antibiotics, so that’s good. Someone appears to have taken a 2×4 to my lower body while I was sleeping, though, if my pain levels are any indicator. Upside? I still have use of my hands, so not all is lost.
I know the next few weeks may be rough because of being off my RA meds, so I’ve been trying to prepare in little ways. I stocked up on cross-stitch projects for the days where I can’t move. I’ve also been prepping some crafts ahead of time in case I get orders while I’m down. I’ve spent the last few days catching up on work over at Band Back Together in case I need to take a few days to rest.
Most importantly, I sat down and talked with a few important people. My mental state has been less than stellar the last few weeks. I’ve had a great deal of anger and resentment at being sick. I know I’ve mentioned it before, I don’t make the best patient. With the complications from my conditions, this time around has been brutal. I feel like such an invalid!
After wallowing in all my negativity, snapping at my boyfriend, and alienating a few people on the Tweeter machine, I knew something had to change. I emailed one of my dearest friends and poured out my soul. For some reason, Tracie has always seen me in a way others don’t. I can’t truly explain it. From the very moment I started reading her blog, I knew we were kindred spirits. Not that we have everything in common, we don’t. But there’s something there that connects us. I feel I’ve known her all my life. I can tell her anything.
She, being the doll she is, didn’t even balk at my novel of an email. She passed along some hugely valuable advice and I took it and ran. And for the first time in a long while, I’m starting to feel like myself again. Not just part of me, but ALL of me.
I’ve made a decision to do what I can, when I can and damn all that static in my head. I’m focusing more on the positive and working on being honest with myself. I’m remembering to ask for help when I need it and finding ways to come to terms with those circumstances outside my control.
And in the midst of all this change, my younger and much better looking twin sent me a link to something the Universe knew I needed to see:
I AM a superhero. For living with RA when it makes me wish I didn’t. For working with BB2G and telling my stories to help change lives and change the world. For fighting depression’s ugly demons and continuing to smile.
Anyone want to make me a cape?