From Frustration Breeds Creativity

I’ve spent the last week fighting our heat wave and its effects on my body. Because this puts my illness in the forefront of my mind nearly constantly, I’ve been in a bit of a funk.

Every day I have to make the choice:

Do I have RA or does it have me?

Most days, I have it and I deal with it while going about doing what I love. But some days, some days it has me. And it kicks my ever-loving ass.

This last week? It’s been full of those days. The heat causes my joints in my hands and feet to swell. Swollen joints means minimal walking/standing, typing or crafting. Also? Heat means fatigue. And damn, that bitch has a firm hold on me.

I’m exhausted all the time lately. Which sucks rocks because I have a million ideas swarming around and I want to DO ALL THE THINGS. Motivation without energy is my greatest battle.

One HUGE side effect of all this nonsense? I have to tell people No.

Most people in my life (The Boyfriend, The Band) understand that it’s not personal, I’m just out of spoons for the day. But others? The ones who are supposed to be my friends? They don’t understand. No matter how many times I try to explain things to them, no matter how many times I apologize, they still get upset. Even angry.

And I want to scream.

Don’t you think I’m angry? Don’t you think I’m disappointed?

And honestly, I may snap the next time one of them tells me to “get over it” or to “just push through it” like I’m choosing to lie around miserable.

Yes, because I LOVE being a hermit.

From all this frustration has spawned an idea, though.

Just because my friends that get it, that understand me, live in my computer, doesn’t mean that I have to be so far away from them.

One of my little bits of exercise is walking to get the mail every day. Heat or no heat, I try to shuffle my way out there. It keeps things moving and makes me fell a bit less like a bump on a log. And when I make that trek only to find more bills? Well, that’s a bit of a let down.

I got to thinking. I love getting surprise cards or smiles in the mail. And I love sending smiles. So why don’t I start an old fashioned pen-pal swap?

So I am. I’m hoping you’ll all be interested and join me. I know we’re broke and can’t afford a lot. But surely you can pen a few words of hello to someone? And there’s probably enough change for a stamp on the floor of your car or in your couch cushions. Or the bottom of your purse, if you’re anything like me.

Anywho. I’m thinking it’d be a bit like a round robin style. So if you’re interested, email me at becominneurotic@gmail.com with your email address and any special instructions (like allergic to perfume so don’t send scented stationary or whatevs). I’m hoping to have a good gathering and have your pal to you by the 15th.

Any questions? Comment below or email me 🙂

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