A few weeks back, Tamara went all over-achiever on the the questions thing.
If you don’t know Tamara, you should check her out. Possibly start with that post, you’ll learn lots about her. If you know me at all, you’ll probably think Tamara and I are related or best friends since we were toddlers. I’ve come to the conclusion that our souls must be old friends, much like Dawnie. And Tracie. And Teala.
It’s rare to find someone in life whom your soul recognizes. Or maybe, we’ve all become numb to it in this hustle bustle world full of acquaintances and work-friends and people we know but maybe don’t KNOW. I don’t know how I got so lucky, or if I just opened myself up more, but I’ve definitely been blessed to find a few souls my heart knows already. It’s how I knew Scotty was the one for me, and how Nubs became my brother from another mother. It’s the reason why I would choose Teala to be in our wedding, though we’ve never actually met face to face. Sometimes, you just KNOW.
Anyhow, I know Tamara, and she knows me, at least…she says she doesn’t consider me a stalker and I haven’t scared her away yet, so there’s that. And for all of you who’d like to know me a little better, here you go-
1. What are you wearing?
My version of the spoonie uniform: jammie pants, fun socks, and a t-shirt I borrowed from Scotty’s side of the closet.
2. Ever been in love?
I’m currently head over hills in love with Scotty and have been for the last five years.
3. Ever had a terrible breakup?
The dissolution of my first marriage wasn’t exactly easy. Leaving an abusive relationship was also pretty terrible, though in different ways.
4. How tall are you?
I think I’m right around 5’8″
5. How much do you weigh?
My weight has been an issue for the better part of two decades. So while I won’t tell you the number, I will say that I am holding steady and not gaining weight right now, which is an accomplishment with some of the meds I have to take.
6. Any tattoos?
I have one that I got for my 22nd birthday. It’s a crescent moon and my son’s name. I have a few more that I would like to get one of these days…
7. Any piercings?
At one point I had my bottom lip pierced as well as my navel. At another point I had my tongue pierced. But now I just have my ears, and at that, I rarely wear any earrings.
8. OTP (one true pair, favorite fictional couple)?
Claire and Jamie Fraser, forever and always. Also, Emma and Hook, Snow and Charming, Wesley and Buttercup.
9. Favorite show?
Once Upon A Time, Criminal Minds, The Voice, anything true crime.
10. Favorite bands?
Linkin Park. Elvis. Foo Fighters. Nirvana. Fleetwood Mac. Tom Petty and The Heartbreakers. Meatloaf. Heart.
11. Something you miss?
A life free of pain.
12. Favorite song?
Linkin Park’s “A Place For My Head”
“I watch how the moon sits in the sky in the dark night, shining with the light from the sun. And the sun doesn’t give light to the moon assuming the moon’s gonna owe it one. It makes me think of how you act for me. You do favors and then rapidly you just turn around and start asking me about things you want back from me. I’m sick of the tension, sick of the hunger, sick of you acting like I owe you this. Find another place to feed your greed, while I find a place to rest.”
13. How old are you?
14. Zodiac sign?
I’m a Leo. And yes, I’m just as stubborn and proud as all the descriptions say I should be.
15. Quality you look for in a partner?
Honesty. Trust. Passion. A good heart. A great smile. Patience.
16. Favorite Quote?
17. Favorite actor?
Johnny Depp. Robin Williams. Kirsten Vangsness. Audrey Hepburn. Will Ferrell. Mel Brooks. Tim Curry. Gene Wilder. Lucy Ball.
18. Favorite color?
Teal.Turquoise.Aqua. That beautiful range between blue and green.
19. Loud music or soft?
That depends on my mood. There are times I need it loud to drown out the voices in my mind. There are times I need it soft to soothe the pain away.
20. Where do you go when you’re sad?
(I also love Scarlet’s answer.)
I often go to my writing. Whether it’s a journal, an open letter, or my blog, writing helps me talk through what I’m feeling, and to process it so I can heal.
21. How long does it take you to shower?
That depends. If it’s a run of the mill day, about 10 minutes. If it’s a high pain day, it can take up to 20 minutes, or it doesn’t happen at all. Sometimes you just have to pick your battles.
22. How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
Assuming I’m staying home, about 30 minutes start to finish. If I have to get dressed in people clothes for an appointment, it can take closer to an hour.
23. Ever been in a physical fight?
None I’d like to remember.
24. Turn on?
Eyes that light up when he smiles. When he reaches over and caresses my hand. A text message that says he misses me while he’s at work. Hands that try to massage my pain away. That smile that says he’s still madly in love with me.
25. Turn off?
Dishonesty. Mistrust. Disrespect.
26. The reason I started blogging?
I’ve always dreamed of being a writer. Blogging seemed like a place to find my words, my path. Who knew it would actually lead to those dreams coming true?
Dying before I’ve lived. Losing my son. Losing Scotty. That I’ll be forgotten.
28. Last thing that made you cry?
A conversation with my younger sister.
29. Last time you said you loved someone?
About 20 minutes ago, via text.
30. Meaning behind the name of your blog?
It started as a Twitter handle to describe what I thought was a mental breakdown. It morphed into me sharing my stories of pain, mental illness, and loss- my path to crazy, and how I live.
31. Last book you read?
I just finished a number of ebooks that were so memorable I can’t think of their titles. For shame.
32. The book you’re currently reading?
Nothing at this moment, but I’m looking…
33. Last show you watched?
I’m currently watching a Wicked Attraction marathon on Discovery.
34. Last person you talked to?
35. The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
He’s the love of my life.
36. Favorite food?
The edible kind. Ha! Truly though. I love comfort food. Pasta, potatoes, bread, soups and stews. Breakfast food. Desserts. Spicy food.
37. Place you want to visit?
Europe. The corner of Canada where K &S are. Florida. Texas. The Eastern seaboard. Scotland and Ireland.
38. Last place you were?
Besides home? My doctor’s office.
39. Do you have a crush?
The actor who plays Jamie Fraser in the Outlander series on Starz. Which I can’t watch because Starz refuses to put it on Hulu. Jerks. But him? He’s pretty dreamy.
40. Last time you kissed someone?
This morning. I kissed Scotty before he headed off to work.
41. Last time you were insulted?
42. Favorite flavor of sweet?
43. What instruments do you play?
I don’t play any. I like to pretend I can sing.
44. Favorite piece of jewelry?
My engagement rings. My spoon necklace. A bracelet from Katie. The turquoise earrings that were Scotty’s first gift to me.
45. Last sport you played?
Ha! Ha! Ha!
46. Last song you sang?
Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood
47. Favorite chat up line?
From Scotty: “Are you in a construction zone? Cuz you’re double fine!”
48. Have you ever used it?
Not on my life!
49. Last time you hung out with anyone?
Besides Scotty? I got to visit with Nolan (aka Nubs) and Courtney at Scotty’s gig last weekend.
50. Who should answer these questions next?
Anyone who feels like it. Some are fun, some are kinda serious. Either way, I’d love to know more about YOU.